Mum says kids don't need to share toys as they deserve 'same respect as adults’

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Emily Feret with her children Hannah, four, and Levi, two (Image: Emily Feret / SWNS)
Emily Feret with her children Hannah, four, and Levi, two (Image: Emily Feret / SWNS)

A mum has told how she doesn't make her children share their own toys, as she said they deserve the "same respect as adults".

Emily Feret, 30, allows her children - Hannah, four, and Levi, two - to have personal toys or possessions just for themselves.

She asks them if there are any toys they don't want to share, and hides them when friends come over - leaving out "community toys" that anyone can play with.

The stay-at-home mum follows a gentle parenting approach, and said she treats her children "like people" and with "respect".

Emily, who lives with husband Greg, a salesman, tries to avoid yelling and shouting by tactics such as taking a toy away that her kids are squabbling over.

Mum's touching gesture to young son who died leaves Morrisons shopper in tears eiqetidrqittinvMum's touching gesture to young son who died leaves Morrisons shopper in tears
Mum says kids don't need to share toys as they deserve 'same respect as adults’Emily said that she doesn't make his children share their own toys (Emily Feret / SWNS)
Mum says kids don't need to share toys as they deserve 'same respect as adults’She separates toys between personal and communal (Emily Feret / SWNS)

Emily, from Chicago, said: "As an adult if I didn't want to share something no one would force me to. So I give my kids the same respect.

"I ask them if any toys they don't want to share and put them away if guests are coming over. I have toys which are just individually theirs and toys which I call community toys which are everybody's. I treat my children like people."

Emily tries to give her children "consequences" if they are doing something wrong.

She said: "If they are fighting over a community toy I'll offer a solution such as a timer so they each have a bit of time with the toy. If they are still fighting I'll then take the toy away.

"I try and make the consequence make sense to the situation. If my kids are running and I tell them to stop because they may fall and they don't listen and then fall that's a natural consequence."

Emily tries to talk to her kids calmly and avoids raising her voice.

Mum says kids don't need to share toys as they deserve 'same respect as adults’Emily said that she treats her children with respect (Emily Feret / SWNS)
Mum says kids don't need to share toys as they deserve 'same respect as adults’Emily tries to give her children "consequences" if they are doing something wrong (Emily Feret / SWNS)

She said: "I try and get on their level and talk calmly. If I do raise my voice I'll apologise and explain why I yelled. I try and speak to them from a place of calm. If my child is jumping on the furniture I'll say - 'hey can we not jump on the couch.'"But I'll give them alternative for something they can jump on.

"If they continue, I'll get them down. I let them be upset and frustrated and tell them the names for these emotions."

Emily also lets her daughter Hannah stand up at dinner time rather than sitting still at the table.

She said: "She's so bouncy all the time. She has a hard time sitting still to eat dinner so I let her move around. She stands to eat a meal at home.

'I don't want children staying up late at weekends - I really need adult time''I don't want children staying up late at weekends - I really need adult time'

"There are no societal expectations in the comfort of our home."

She is also happy to let Hannah pick out her own outfits.

Emily said: "She has been picking out her outfits since she was two. She has a blast doing it. I still have rules and boundaries in place. But I want my kids to have a say and express themselves as long as it's not harming themselves or anyone else."

Tim Hanlon

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