'Partner keeps inviting friends to our family-only New Year's Eve celebration'
Organising New Year’s plans can be stressful, especially if you have a young family. Sometimes the simplest thing to do is have a quiet family-only night. But one woman’s relaxing New Year’s plans have been changed from family-only to hosting other families two years in a row. She has finally said, enough is enough.
After discovering how much effort it took to organize a New Year's Eve celebration at their camping spot. They vowed to limit it to their family-only celebration the following year. As partygoers test the waters to see if it is fair game to join them for New Year’s.
Eight years ago, the couple started a tradition of going to an off-grid camp for New Year's Eve. “We got a dog, and soon thereafter we had a kid and then another,” the woman said. It was the perfect way to celebrate the turn of the year with small children.
Three years ago, they decided to invite more people to their off-grid New Year’s celebration. “We put out the invitation to everyone: friends, family, everyone, and we had like a huge group of people celebrating with us and our young kids," she added.
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“It was chaos. We were entertaining, and I didn’t get to enjoy New Year’s Eve. After everyone left, we both said 'never again' and decided to just keep to our little family.” She said she and her partner had agreed.
After a year, despite not directly inviting anybody to their off-grid camping area, one of her partner's friends inquired about their plans and awkwardly dropped by with his family. “I didn’t love it. I had to entertain while I would have rather just been with my family.” She said after being forced into playing host.
“I am pretty sure I made it clear that I would have preferred no one come, and I thought he was on the same page.” She said. So another year has passed and a couple of her partner's friends ‘invited themselves’ to her family’s off-grid camping land for New Year’s. She added: “My partner explicitly says he did not invite them, but he did nothing to dissuade them from coming. And in fact, yesterday, he had this exchange with his friend:
"Friend: 'Hey, are we still getting together at the camp? Or, if not we can make other plans'. My partner: 'Yeah we’re heading down here in an hour or so'. I say that is indirectly an invite. There were many things he could have said to dissuade them from coming, even at that point. They showed up, and it was actually not a horrible time, they left at an appropriate time, no harm, no foul. I’m over it, but said 'next year, if you can’t tell them no, refer them to me. I will tell them no'," she said.
This sparked a row between them on the drive home. “My partner says that I owe him an apology for making a big deal about them coming. I said I don’t owe him an apology because I didn’t want them there in the first place. And if anything , he owes me an apology because he refused to tell his friend no.”
She took to Reddit to ask if she was an a** h*** for ‘not wanting to share our New Year's tradition.’ Most commenters agreed that she was right and that her partner had signaled an 'indirect invite' to his pals, despite expressly promising to have an intimate, family-only celebration to her.
One wrote, “Not the a** h***. It was an indirect invite. What he should have said: “We’re celebrating New Year’s at our cabin as a family this year. We hope you and yours have a nice celebration and will look forward to hearing about it after. It also sounds like you and your partner need to have an honest heart-to-heart about others at the camp. I think he may want friends there.”
Another agreed, “I agree that ‘we’re heading down here in an hour or so’, is indirectly an invite. What he should have said was something to the effect that you are not entertaining guests this year and plan to have a quiet time alone and are looking forward to the solitude. Partner messed up. It's his fault. You owe no apology. Not the a** h***.”
One went so far as to say her partner owed her an apology, “You made it clear you just wanted it to be your immediate family and he let his friends invite themselves and didn't shut them down when they asked. He does owe you an apology.”
Another thought her partner had disregarded their family-only agreement ahead of time, “You need to realize that your partner wants the friends there and is upset that you will inform them that it will be your family gathering only.
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Partner was vague, he probably had already made the plans beforehand that friends were invited. That is why he is demanding an apology, if you let his friends know that no more invitations will be made, his friends will say but 'Partner invited us'.” they wrote.
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