'My open marriage backfired in my face - my husband prefers our girlfriend'
Relationships come in all shapes and sizes - there definitely isn’t a ‘one-size fits all’ when it comes to love, and it would be naive to think it does. However, like any scenario, it can come with its own unique set of challenges. One woman has revealed how the introduction of a third person into her marriage has led to her getting edged out.
Taking to social media to ask for advice on what to do, the 34-year-old explained that around three years ago her husband began to get “bored”. She wrote: “Me and my husband have been together for 14 years, we have a seven and three-year-old together.”
After her husband told her he was feeling unfulfilled in their relationship, he asked if his wife would be open to introducing a third person into the marriage. She went on: “So after a while, mostly begging on his part, I accepted to introduce a third into our marriage, Harper*, 25.”
According to the woman, her husband had known Harper for a while as she’s his sister's friend so she wasn’t a complete stranger. Fast-forward three years and their 'throuple' has mostly been a success. She continued: “I love Harper! She’s like crazy sweet, the children love her…we do girl trips, split everything 50/50, go shopping.”
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Going into the problem at hand, the woman went on: “But husband most definitely prefers Harper, he pushes her to do exercise, to diet, to dress pretty, and she’s also the first one he’ll text if he gets good/bad news, she’s the first one he’ll greet when he gets home, they go on dates once a week, husband said it’s because Harper insisted and I didn’t.”
Feeling thoroughly put out and rejected, the woman said she confronted her spouse about him appearing to prefer Harper to her. She explained: “He said he just feels there’s more ‘intimacy’ and like she’s his ‘best friend’ I pointed out I’m the mother of his children, he used to say I was his best friend…he said he loves both of us, but feels this warmth when he thinks of Harper.”
Asking for advice on what to do, the woman revealed that she doesn’t have a problem with Harper, adding: “She doesn’t leave me out of anything, she’s always going out of her way to include me, to spoil the children and make sure everything is equal. I don’t know what to do, because I love Harper…I just, want my husband to need me like he used to? I want to be my husband’s favourite.”
Sharing the post on Reddit, people did not hold back in the comments section with their ‘advice’. One person wrote: “So…. He’s in love with Harper. You’re just the nanny and maid at this point. Have some self-respect. Get a divorce.” Another reader suggested: “Get a new boyfriend/husband. I’m serious- this is an open relationship right?” While a third user questioned: “You didn't think it was gross that he wanted to bang his little sister's 22-year-old friend?”
And someone else penned: “Divorce. He is rejecting you. This is no longer the poly relationship you agreed to - you are being cut out by him, Harper is his real partner. There's no more space here for you, even if Harper tries to make it so because your husband no longer wants you as his life partner and romantic partner. So don't try to convince him to want you, that is humiliating and pointless - just leave.”
*Harper's name has been changed to protect her identity.
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