Mum's heartbreaking plea after losing battle to keep baby son's grave memorial
A heartbroken mum has been told by the council to remove a memorial for her baby son because it is not made of stone.
Leanne Thompson, 35, said she had the acrylic resin memorial installed at baby Callum's grave last year after a council worker told her over the phone that doing so "would be fine, as long as she installed it herself".
But less than a year after spending £600 on the Iggle Piggle themed memorial and installing it at Scartho Road Cemetery in Grimsby, Leanne received a letter from North East Lincolnshire Council (NELC) saying the “unauthorised” memorial had to be removed as it was not made of stone”.
After days of trying to contact the council Leanne said she was told that permission for the memorial should have originally been given to her in writing, instead of over the phone, and that NELC is sticking to their decision, GrimsbyLive reports. Leanne said she now wishes Callum, who died of pneumonia at five-months-old, had been cremated instead.
She added: "I've not even heard anything from them since then - no letter, nothing. They've not spoken to me, so that's it at the moment.
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"It's been so stressful, it's played on my nerves a lot and caused me to be depressed. It's just absolutely heartbreaking and devastating. I had a cross made, and his dad made him a fence, and that was up for years until this memorial. If they let crosses and fences be put up, then why not this? Crosses deteriorate and crack, causing them to be sharp, and they can cause splinters, but [the Council] are going on about plastic. Acrylic resin lasts for years and it's a lot safer than these stone ones. It's absolutely disgusting.
Leanne Thompson with Baby Callum who tragically died in his sleep from pneumonia in April 2010 aged five months (Leanne Thompson / SWNS)"You drive into the cemetery and all the stones are all falling down, they've just laid them down and stuck stickers on them. The old graves from the 1800s are covered in weeds and look awful. It's just absolutely derelict. The whole situation has disturbed me that much that I was even thinking that if I knew then what I know now, I would've had Callum cremated and brought him home."
The letter from the council states: "I would be obliged if you could remove this memorial from the cemetery no later than 30th September 2023. After this date North East Lincolnshire Council reserve the right to remove this from the cemetery and will not accept liability for any damage caused by removal."
Leanne said that she will now be forced to pay around £2,000 to £3,000 for a headstone for Callum's grave after the acrylic resin memorial is removed. She said: "I don't understand what the problem is. Why can't they just let people grieve in peace? Why can't the rules change?
Baby Callum (Leanne Thompson / SWNS)"People haven't got the money these days to fork out all this money when they've lost a loved one. His memorial gave him a nice resting place. Why does it have to be stone? It's caused a lot of heartache. I haven't got any space in my garden for his memorial because it's so small, so it's just going to end up in my family member's garage."
A North East Lincolnshire Council spokesperson said previously: “Our staff are always willing to help families with any enquiries about cemetery regulations and how they apply to a loved one’s grave. The regulations have been in place for many years and it’s important that we treat all grave owners equally when dealing with such sensitive matters.
“All memorials must be installed by a registered monumental mason and comply with British Standards. This memorial is made of plastic, which quickly deteriorates and becomes brittle. In the past, we’ve found these memorials are easily damaged and when they break, they are very sharp.
“An application needs to be submitted and permission given in writing before a memorial can be installed. They also need to be insured. It can be upsetting when we ask someone to change a loved one’s grave and we have invited the family to speak with us to discuss this sensitive matter further.” Leanne has launched a Change.org petition in protest against the decision by North East Lincolnshire Council.
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