'My mum announced our pregnancy without permission - we'd already lost the baby'

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The man is now second guessing his brutal response to his mum
The man is now second guessing his brutal response to his mum's announcement (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

When you find out you are pregnant it can be really hard to keep it a secret, but given there are so many things that can happen before 12 weeks most people keep quiet until they pass that bench mark.

However, one man has publicly shamed his mum for announcing his partner's pregnancy on Facebook, as the couple had heartbreakingly lost their baby by the time she'd announced the news.

Now second-guessing his brutal response to his mums social media post, he asked on Reddit if he was an a**hole for his public comment during the unfortunate circumstance of his mum prematurely announcing the news.

The unnamed man revealed: "My wife was pregnant with our first child. We weren't telling anyone yet because it was early. My mom was over at our house and noticed some obvious clues of pregnancy. She asked about it and we were honest.

"We also asked her to please respect our wishes and not go telling people because it was early in the pregnancy and we wanted time to ourselves to absorb it. The pregnancy was unplanned but welcome but my mum lasted two weeks before she started posting about becoming a grandmother.

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"We hadn't told her yet we lost the baby, I was still feeling dead inside when I saw her post so I just commented that [my wife] miscarried a week ago" and I guess it took about an hour for my mum to see the comment and delete her post."

Now the mum is getting slated by her friends and family for announcing the news before her son and his partner, even getting angry with her son - despite being the one to share news he asked her not to.

He adds: "We have been getting condolences, which we don't want, and my mum has been getting crapped on by friends and family for being so insensitive and she is mad at me for not telling her that we had lost her grandchild.

"I think I was an a**hole because I replied that I didn't want her blabbing my family's personal life again and she is crying and my dad says that I have every right to be upset but that I could have been nicer. I'm just so angry right now I don't know how to feel."

People flocked to share their thoughts on the heartbreaking situation, and defending the man's actions, as one Reddit user wrote: "Your mum disregarded your wishes. She violated your privacy. When SHE decided SHE wanted everyone to know SHE told YOUR information. Your private information. She posted…you corrected her misinformation. She doesn't get to decide what you share and when."

And another said: "Your mother took information that was not hers to share, and publicly posted it. You and your wife were grieving, and I can appreciate how hard that post must have been to see. Your mother broke your trust, and is now playing the victim. You did not need to be nicer, you needed your family to support you - and instead they made it about themselves."

Anyone in need of help and support after baby loss can visit Tommy's charity or call them on 0800 014 7800

Niamh Kirk

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