'My partner said I was embarrassing after I screamed giving birth - I'm so hurt'

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Her boyfriend asked her to stop screaming, and acted as though he was ashamed of her (Stock Photo) (Image: Getty Images)
Her boyfriend asked her to stop screaming, and acted as though he was ashamed of her (Stock Photo) (Image: Getty Images)

When giving birth, many women will naturally want their partners by their side, feeling reassured by their familiar presence during what can be an extremely difficult and vulnerable time. For one young mother, however, having her boyfriend in the delivery room with her proved to be anything but comforting, and her birthing story has left many people shocked and appalled.

According to this mum, her boyfriend of one year was right there with her throughout the birth, but was anything but encouraging and supportive as she laboured to bring their baby son into the world, even accusing her of "embarassing" him.

Taking to Reddit, she recalled: "I screamed A LOT, and each time I did he whispered something like, 'Can you stop screaming, you're really embarrassing me'. I also threw up a few times and I saw him cover his face in shame. When I held the midwife's hand for comfort he whispered, 'let go of her, stop being so embarrassing'.

"He also said that my birthing position was embarrassing and called me a few vulgar names. I'm really upset about his behaviour that day, especially when it was when I needed his support the most. When I try to talk to him about it he denies ever saying it and that I'm being silly."

A number of fellow Reddit users expressed serious concerns about the relationship, and urged the 20-year-old to "get out now", emphasising that this just wasn't acceptable behaviour on her boyfriend's part.

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One sympathetic person commented: "I literally s*** myself (a lot) while having a contraction, then my water broke a minute after. My husband helped the nurse clean me up. Then he helped hold me up as I delivered our son. Not to mention him holding everything together at home the whole time, and constantly being present and ready to help at any moment.

"That is all said to assure you that your boyfriend's behavior is NOT normal and is NOT acceptable. You're not being silly. This is a huge red flag, and a big indicator of what his future behavior will be like in stressful situations. Please don't feel like you have to stay with him just because you have a baby together. You deserve better than this."

Another wrote: "I'm so sorry. My child's father (who is no longer around much and I am separated from) also acted as though I was embarrassing him. I screamed and screamed. My contractions hurt so horribly like I was being stabbed over and over and he just looked at me so rudely and literally left the room a few times. All I can remember of this day is mostly him making me feel like I was doing something wrong. I deserved better. You deserve better. Please get out now."

After reading through the many comments and taking their advice on board, the unnamed woman went on to post an update letting worried users know that she'd gone to live with her mum temporarily, with the intention of eventually finding a new home for herself and her baby.

If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email [email protected] or visit their site to find your local branch

Do you have a birth or pregnancy-related story to share? Email us at [email protected]

Julia Banim

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