Amazing dad uses elaborate plan to take autistic son on his first holiday abroad
![Adam Murphy with son Ryan on the family](/upload/news/2023/07/21/76654.jpg)
A dad had to put 12 months of planning into taking his autistic son abroad for the first time - but said it was worth it to see him smile.
Adam Murphy said the prep was “lengthy but necessary” because son Ryan, 26, is autistic and has other learning disabilities, so unfamiliar places can be difficult.
Planning for the trip to Torremolinos, Spain, started last summer when the 50-year-old thought his son was “ready” for the experience.
He helped Ryan become acclimatised to the sounds and sensations of a plane with YouTube videos and even conducted a pretend check-in process at home.
While on the week-long trip, Ryan enjoyed swimming, shopping, relaxing at the bar, and dancing at the mini disco. Adam, who has recently been diagnosed with autism himself, is a full-time carer for Ryan.
![Spanish island loved by Brits wants to cut tourist numbers to stop 'saturation' eiqeeiqzhidrdinv](/upload/news/2023/02/03/1145_m.jpg)
The dad-of-three from Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, said: "I’ve never seen him dance that way, and for as long as he did at the disco, it was amazing to see.
![Amazing dad uses elaborate plan to take autistic son on his first holiday abroad](https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article30519403.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/0_SWNS_AUTISM_SPAIN_002.jpg)
"He was happy, laughing, smiling, dancing - seeing him like this made me feel like I’d made the right decision to take him on holiday in the first place.
"Going on holiday may not be a big deal for most people, but for Ryan, this was a huge achievement – I’m a very proud father."
Adam prepared Ryan for the holiday by reaching out to charity Fly2Help who allowed them to visit Gloucestershire Airport and get on an aeroplane ahead of their trip.
Adam said: "They made our holiday a reality. They enabled Ryan to experience check-in and security. We sat on the aeroplane which they then started so he could experience those feelings. I then went onto YouTube and played Ryan noises of the aeroplane and of its toilet, so he knew how they sounded."
The duo, who ended up flying out of Bristol Airport, made up their own slogan too.
"It was very simple - I would say 'Spain Spain', he would reply 'on an aeroplane'," Adam continued.
![Amazing dad uses elaborate plan to take autistic son on his first holiday abroad](https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article30519408.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/0_SWNS_AUTISM_SPAIN_005.jpg)
"Just by saying the phrase, it opened up for if he wanted to talk about the trip further, and it did it in a way where there was no pressure which is such a big thing.
"I made sure not to plan this trip in a way where Ryan thought he was pressured into doing anything he didn’t want to do. He has to do it at his own pace".
The hotel and location where they stayed were also carefully selected.
![February half term holidays could be hit by strikes including France and Spain](/upload/news/2023/02/06/1864_m.jpg)
Adam knew he needed somewhere his son could feel at home so they chose a friendly family hotel packed with activities he knew Ryan would enjoy.
Adam left his son to research and explore their holiday destination by himself, using Google Maps.
He said: "Ryan researched Torremolinos to the extent to where he could direct me around the area without even having been there before, which is what he then did when we were there - he is just amazing."
Adam also contacted the hotel and asked them to send through a menu so Ryan knew what he was going to eat that week.
"There was an awful lot of planning that went into the holiday but there is an awful lot of planning that goes into everything we do," the dad continued.
![Amazing dad uses elaborate plan to take autistic son on his first holiday abroad](https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article30519409.ece/ALTERNATES/n310p/0_SWNS_AUTISM_SPAIN_003.jpg)
![Amazing dad uses elaborate plan to take autistic son on his first holiday abroad](https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article30519407.ece/ALTERNATES/n310p/0_SWNS_AUTISM_SPAIN_006.jpg)
"I didn’t know if Ryan was going to get onto the plane or if he was going to have a meltdown whilst we were onboard, so I knew I had to plan the journey to a point where we both knew this trip would happen.
"I want to share Ryan having a glass of Prosecco with his bacon and eggs. I want people to see him go through check-in or standing by the swimming pool on holiday.
"There are so many families being told that their child may never experience all these fantastic things life has to offer. They are so worried and so scared.
"I know because I’ve been there, so it is extremely important that we talk about the positive side of autism too. I’m immensely proud. He is just an amazing young man.
"I still can’t believe I took him on a plane. All the steps I have been able to put into place, and this was possible, because of the way Ryan teaches me, I listen, and I learn from him."
Adam’s top three tips when travelling abroad with a person with disabilities are:
- Call the airport to ask if they have the disability services you may need. This also includes smaller airports.
- Buy a sunflower lanyard in your language and a translation for the country you are visiting.
- Never put a person with disabilities under any pressure. Let them take control of the holiday and planning.
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