Unassuming water tower voted 'most phallic building in the world'

01 February 2023 , 09:11

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The Ypsilanti Water Tower in Ypsilanti, Michigan (Image: Google Street View)

There are some buildings which just can’t be helped being compared to something naughty.

From the architect’s drawings through to the builders’ hammering you’d think someone would have spotted just how phallic the unfortunate final product would look.

Or maybe they knew all along and just thought it was funny.

Since 1890 the residents of Ypsilanti, Michigan, US, have been unable to see the similarities of their local water tower and a penis.

Erected to address the lack of running water in the area, it’s stood proudly at the highest point of the city ever since.

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The Tower sits on the highest point in the city (Google Street View)

The tower's monstrous 147 feet (45 m) height and 85-foot (26 m) girth is capped by a large dome, which has led the comparisons.

Made of limestone, its hard enough to resist the ravages of the polar weather blowing south from Canada.

And it has also been listed in the U.S. National Register of Historic Places, so even if the locals wanted to tear it down, they couldn’t.

The tower’s durability has led to a number of urban legends springing up around it.

One unfortunate story holds that the tower will stand as long as a virgin never graduates from the nearby Eastern Michigan University.

Its prominent position in the city has made it unavoidable and therefore is used by residents as a recognisable marker for anyone asking for directions. That and likely the chance to make a penis joke or two.

The straight shooting people of the area have nicknamed it ‘The Brick Dick’ and as you can imagine it’s the but of many jokes by local comedians.

The Ypsilanti Water Tower in Ypsilanti, Michigan (Google Street View)

Over the years it’s been noted across the world for its unusual shape. In 2003 it was named ‘The Most Phallic Building In The World’ by Cabinet magazine.

Something that’s often lost when people come to marvel at this massive stone construction is that it’s a frightfully clever building.

Not only did it fill the bathtubs of the local populace but as water rushed down to said-bathtubs it generated electricity to power the town’s streetlamps at night.

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This ingenious bit of engineering is mostly eclipsed by the fact the building looks like a big penis.

Charlie Jones