'My husband wants us to leave newborn behind and go on holiday - I refuse'
A woman who recently welcomed a daughter says she's been made to feel bad for putting a stop to her husband's dream holiday plans, but she knew she wouldn't have been ready to leave her newborn behind.
The new mum says that before she went on maternity leave, her husband had asked whether she wanted to go to the Maldives during her leave, as there were some 'very good deals' available. She firmly told him no and made it very clear she had no intention of leaving their little girl behind.
Unfortunately, he went ahead and spent their shared reward points to bid on a 'dream trip' to the Maldives, all without telling her. To his initial delight, they won, but yet again she told him no. He wasn't happy about it.
She wouldn't feel comfortable being a 24-hour flight away from her newborn (Stock Photo) (Getty Images/iStockphoto)Their daughter is currently just two months old, and at the time of the trip she would still only be around three to four months old. She knows it would be 'a lot to ask of someone else to watch her'. She also fears being so far away from her baby, knowing it would take them a good 24 hours to get home again if something terrible was to happen.
In response, her husband pleaded that he'd done this for them and that he'd had 'no idea' they would actually win. Although she suggested that they just go in the future instead, he wants to go right now as they 'would only need to pay for airfare'.
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Taking to Reddit, where she goes by the username u/ldiggles, the 30-year-old mother wrote: "I explained that I made it CLEAR I would not leave our newborn prior to even having her.
"He argued that he’s turning 30, things are different, etc., etc., and then asked if he could go by himself which set me off because I no longer felt it was for us. At one point he told me that I 'never let him do anything'. I told him he could go but I wouldn’t be here when he got back which may have been a bit harsh."
Seeking advice from fellow forum users, she continued: "While we had a conversation about all of this and he admitted he was being a bit selfish, he maintains that he is p***** at me for not going and he does not think it’s abnormal for him to want to go by himself.
"If a sliver of him does think it’s abnormal, he doesn’t care. He thinks the whole thing is doable and even offered to take her with us which I denied because I don’t want to take a newborn on a plane and out of the country."
One supportive person replied: "I'm disturbed that your husband would even consider going by himself when his brand new daughter is now in his life.
"You were definitely not a 'bit harsh' when you told him that if he went, you and the baby wouldn't be there when he got back--much harsher language would have been appropriate. Your husband sounds far too immature and selfish to be a father. I hope he shapes up quickly."
Another commented: "Your husband is having a juvenile response to the adjustment of having a family. He wasn't prepared for his life to change the way it did and he's in fight or flight mode.
"I went through this with my husband and our firstborn as well. Get him to have a conversation about that and then send him away for a weekend with his friends, but make sure you do the same for yourself."
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