'I'm jealous that my daughter is happy with her boyfriend - I resent her'

13 March 2024 , 13:55

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The mum was worried that her daughter would spend less time with her (Stock Image) (Image: Getty Images)

One woman admitted she was "unhappy" with the fact that her daughter had a boyfriend, saying that she felt "insecurity" around the situation.

Parents often want the best for their children and will do anything to ensure their happiness, but in this case the woman was upset, rather than happy, when her child told her she was in a relationship. She explained that she was a 48-year-old single mum with a 23-year-old daughter, and when her daughter found a man she wanted to be with, who is 25, she said she was sad about the situation because it meant she'd be "spending more time away" from her.

Writing to Dear Deidre for advice, she admitted that she felt "embarrassed" by her reaction, and had nothing against her daughter's partner, describing him as "lovely." "To my shame, I was overcome with jealousy and I really upset my daughter with my selfish reaction", she penned, saying that she "loves" her daughter, and wants to get over her "insecurity". She also explained she wanted her daughter to be "happy and healthy", and she didn't want to be controlling about the situation.

The mum explained that her daughter was her only child after the girl's father had died over ten years ago, and she knew she needed to stop being "selfish" regarding her daughter's relationship - but she "didn't know how." She explained that she'd "apologised", but she was still concerned that her daughter would be spending all her free time with her partner, rather than with her.

In her response, Deidre completely understood where she was coming from, saying the fact that she recognised her "resentment" was really "encouraging", so she could improve her behaviour and not "alienate" her child. Deidre said that she could see why the two had "depended" on each other after the passing of her husband, and her daughter's father, "but your lives are evolving and while it will take time to adjust, with the right steps you will get there", she penned.

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The agony aunt also suggested that the woman may have a fear of being "abandoned" after the passing of her husband, so as a result she's "terrified" of losing her daughter. "Find new interests and friends so you are not so reliant on your daughter", she also suggested.

Danielle Kate Wroe