'Sex with strangers has reignited my love life with my husband'

05 February 2023 , 15:36

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Our reader is in a dilemma about whether she'd doing the right thing (Image: Getty Images)

Dear Coleen, Until recently I was a bored, overweight, 44-year-old woman, married for 20 years with children at college and a pathetic husband, useful only because he paid the bills.

Occasionally, I felt obliged to get dolled up in sexy underwear for him, but found sex really boring. On one of these nights there was a family crisis and my husband disappeared.

One of his friends turned up and, as usual, I was drunk, which was my way of coping with the boring sex.

This friend suggested more alcohol and we ended up in bed, and had the most brilliant time.

The sex was unimaginable and it was the first time I’d done it with anyone other than my husband.

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I thought this friend would write me off after our night together and add another notch to his belt but, to my surprise, he wanted more and now we regularly enjoy sex together.

We both have cars, spare time and compliant partners, so it’s easy to meet up. My husband is indifferent if I make excuses to stay out all night.

Coleen Nolan is The Mirror's resident agony aunt (ITV)

Now me and a female friend go on holidays together where there are lots of singles who love casual sex.

Strangely enough, all this has made me fancy my husband again and he thinks all his Christmases have come at once!

We now enjoy regular sex and he even pops home in his dinner hour for a quick session. He loves the ‘new me’.

The icing on the cake is that I no longer have to comfort eat and have lost weight, so I look younger and prettier. My kids love the change in me, too, and my friend, who I go on holiday with, says we’re not harming anyone because everyone is having a good time.

But, a serious question – what do you think of all this and of me?

Coleen says

It sounds like you’re having a lot of fun, but I think you’re playing with fire.

It’s great you feel better about yourself and maybe the reason you found sex boring in the past was because you didn’t like yourself much. So, now you’ve found your mojo and you’re happier and more confident, and it’s reignited your marriage too, work at keeping that alive.

It’s all very well your mate saying you’re not harming people, but I don’t think anyone can have their cake and eat it without choking on it at some point!

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I’m assuming your husband doesn’t actually know about these affairs, but he clearly trusts you and wants you to enjoy your life.

That doesn’t mean he’d be OK with you sleeping with other men, including one of his mates. And, by the way, this man isn’t really a mate, is he?

So, if your hubby finds all this out, the bubble could burst.

Coleen Nolan