'I refuse to let sister-in-law breastfeed my baby - it's weird and unnecessary'
A clash of cultures erupted into a family rift after a mum refused to allow her baby to be breastfed by her sister-in-law. The incident happened while the 32-year-old was out playing netball for an hour and had left her daughter with her husband.
She was only 20 minutes away from her child and explained: "On my way back from training I called my partner to check in and see if my baby was okay. He said she was fine and that they just got to my in-laws place then said 'if baby cries I can just get my sister to breastfeed her'?" The mum said "no" because the idea of it made her feel uncomfortable.
"I told him that's my bond with my baby," she added, but her husband was persistent and kept asking, "why not?" Eventually she heard him say to his sibling, "'oh she said you can't," revealing embarrassingly for the mum that her sister-in-law was nearby the whole time.
Although she never elaborated exactly on where she and her partner's family were each from, she carried on: "Apparently it's normal in their culture and I said that's fine but for mine it's not so it's a no. I had to go over there which then ended up being awkward because they both just assumed and decided between themselves that she could breastfeed my baby and then acted like I was being a b***h for not letting her."
The mum was left wondering if she was overreacting about the whole situation but was adamant that she was had done nothing wrong. She said: "I don't know if I'm overreacting but that's just how I felt and I thought it was my right," and that, "I just wasn't comfortable with the idea because it is not a norm for me but mainly because I consider it bonding time with my daughter."
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Thankfully the couple were able to talk about it once they returned home and the husband apologised for not asking his wife beforehand. She wrote: "They just thought since it was normal for them that it would be okay. Which is completely fine. I told him it was the fact that he didn't ask me first which put me in an awkward situation that could have been avoided, which was made worse by them saying she was hungry." However, the mum claimed her daughter was in fact just tired and wanted "cuddles".
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The post sparked a debate over breastfeeding and whether or not someone other than the baby's mum should be allowed to do it due to health concerns. One user said: "It used to be normal for a lot of places I’m sure. I live in the US and my grandma always told stories about how her mother and aunts would breastfeed each other’s babies, this was in the 1930’s and 40’s. It fell out of favor before the HIV/AIDS epidemic though, I think because formula feeding became more popular."
Another added: "If I remember correctly breastfeeding is how mothers that are HIV positive pass the virus to their babies. I wouldn’t want my baby getting sick from drinking off of someone." One protective mum wrote: "I won’t even let people kiss my baby, let alone shove a t*t in their mouth.
"How would anyone think sharing a bodily fluid without express permission from the mother would be okay?" While someone else noted: "There's a big difference between a wet nurse and a random sister-in-law, the wet nurse gets vetted but you don't know what illnesses sister-in-law has unless she tells you."
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