'My sister-in-law forced me into ugly bridesmaid dress - she's threatened by me'

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An overweight bride tried to get her sister-in-law to wear a frumpy dress so she wouldn
An overweight bride tried to get her sister-in-law to wear a frumpy dress so she wouldn't steal her limelight (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

A woman has shared her disgust after being forced to wear a frumpy dress just because a bride-to-be thinks she'll steal her limelight. The 27-year-old told fellow Reddit users that she wasn't going to be a bridesmaid as she had a child that was just four months old, so would just be a regular guest.

But she and her husband were visited by her soon-to-be groom brother and his fiancée where she was told that her dress had been chosen for her. When she asked why, she was told that she "draws too much attention", with the bride-to-be basing this opinion on the formal dress she wore to her other brother's wedding.

The fuming mum said: "I was very confused by this and I asked what she meant because as I said I know how to dress up for a wedding. I reassured her she shouldn't worry about being 'outshined' because for starters it's her wedding day and everyone will be paying attention to the bride and groom. And secondly, I won't wear an inappropriate dress with too much cleavage or something (her family is rather conservative, so I thought maybe she was more 'scared" of her family's reactions')."

She said that they spoke about it for a while and they eventually got the bride-to-be to admit that it was down to weight, as the bride was a little overweight, while the now-raging prospective sister-in-law was quite thin, even after giving birth. She added: "So she feels insecure and that's why she wants me to wear a dress that would cover me completely.

"This is where I think I might be the a*****e, I told her that her insecurities were not my problem and that it was weird to ask me to wear a certain dress just because I'm skinnier than her. She told me that she knew I'd have this reaction because supposedly I always want to be the focus of attention."

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She added that the girl also said that her life has always been easier and it's not fair that she wants to "steal" her wedding day as well. She asked her if she was doing this with every other woman who was skinnier attending the wedding and she said no, so she told her that's "a s****y move". She said that she, her 34-year-old brother and his 31-year-old fiancée argued about it to the point where her husband kicked out the pair from their home and the woman said she also told them she was not going to the wedding.

She added: "They accused me of being a drama queen and wanting to embarrass them by not going. Well, I'm more calm this and this has caused quite a fight in our family as well. I admit that I was so tired and stressed that day because my baby had been sick all the prior day/night. So idk, do you think I exaggerated here? Or were they truly rude to ask me something like this?"

Other users of the site were behind her stance unanimously, with one saying: "NTA, and I agree with your decision not to attend the wedding. Sister-in-law can give any explanation she wants for why you are not there, but I would definitely answer honestly if anyone asked why you didn't attend," while another said: "Personally, I would go further with the family and start sadly talking about how it was hard for you to gain a healthy weight for the baby, and how you've had issues maintaining a healthy weight all your life. She was over-the-top obnoxious. I feel sorry for her soon to be husband."

And another said: "First of all, not the a*****e. But now I'm wondering, is this some kind of reversed fat shaming? Like thin shaming? You were right. She is projecting her own insecurities on you. You do not need to accept that."

Paul Donald

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