Woman confronts friend who wanted to 'name baby after her stillborn'
Everyone's got their reasons for choosing a name - but what happens when the one you've chosen happens to coincide with a friend's tragedy?
This is exactly what happened to one woman, who took to Reddit to find out who was in the wrong. "I (26F) am currently seven months pregnant.. a few weeks ago we found out that we were having a little girl."
"My husband (28M) and I had already decided on what to name our baby depending on the gender, and upon finding out that she was going to be a girl, we announced that we would name her Adelaide."
"After hearing this, one of my friends (27F), who I have been close with since we were at University, began acting distant towards us. Throughout my pregnancy, I have tried to be sensitive to her feelings, as I knew it was a sore point for her. Two years ago, she tragically lost her baby girl to a stillbirth."
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A longtime friend is at risk after a woman decided to name her child the same thing as her - with a tragic twist (Getty Images/iStockphoto)"I can’t even begin to imagine how heartbreaking this must have been for her and I made sure I supported her through this devastating loss. Despite her trauma, she has never been anything less than kind and empathetic towards me, up until that day."
"A couple of weeks later, she confronted us, suggesting we change the name of our baby, which we rebuffed. She kept on trying to convince us, suggesting different names, or saying that Adelaide was too old-fashioned or that it wouldn’t suit our child. We kept on denying to change her name, until eventually my friend started crying and revealed that Adelaide was the name she’d chosen for her stillborn baby."
It's a difficult situation to be in, but what the expecting mum's friend revealed was enough to devastate anyone. "When she was pregnant, she refused to tell anyone her baby’s name, as she wanted it to be a surprise for when she was born. After the stillbirth, she decided she would keep the name to herself because it was personal to her, to which we understood," continued the post.
"Until recently, no one knew what her baby was going to be called. She claims that, by keeping our name, we are disrespecting the memory of her baby. She said that if I chose the same name then my daughter would be a living reminder of what could have been. I completely understand her grief, but I believe I should have the right to name my own child without being burdened by someone else’s trauma. AITA?"
Her plight left the internet divided, with some sympathizing with the friend. Many asked if this situation was worth losing such a longtime friend over. Others argued that Adelaide is a fairly common name and that the mum is entitled to use it.
One user wrote, "maybe the a****** for wanting to give your kid a s*** name, though. I assume you're not Australian so if it helps you decide on a different name, Adelaide is a pretty average city in Australia. Not a great or pretty name tbh hahah. Imagine wanting your friend to experience pain every time you mention your daughter's name."
Several agreed with this person's take. A different user seconded this with, "certainly not worth losing friends over." Another added, "Imagine if the situation were reversed. How would you feel if you lost your dear Adelaide and your friend had hers? Would you see the baby think it would be a reminder of what could have been? How important is your friendship with this person?"
But plenty of users told her that she is entitled to name her child whatever she wants. "I have to go with NAH. She doesn’t own the name, but I understand her grief. It’s ultimately your choice—you say you’ve had this name picked out for a girl your whole life basically, so if it’s worth losing your friendship over, use it."
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