'My boyfriend proposed after 25 years - but now I feel nothing towards him'
A woman has shared how after waiting patiently for her ‘clever, successful’ boyfriend to propose to her, he finally did and her reaction shocked them both. The 53-year-old woman discussed how the couple, who had been together for 30 years, had four children together, three adults and one 15-year-old, and had enjoyed a good life due to her boyfriend’s successful career.
However after dropping engagement hints after five years together and never receiving a proposal for 25 years afterwards, she then told how, now her boyfriend’s career had ‘taken a downturn’, the presentation of a ring had left her blindsided and ‘feeling nothing’.
She said: “Yesterday he walked towards me holding a box and said to open it. It was a ring and I had pictured this moment a million different times, but never thought I'd be so apathetic.” He then proceeded to tell her that, now he was retired, he wanted to: “kick back and enjoy life,” with her as his wife.
However, it wasn’t that simple for the girlfriend, as after being. She said: “Consistently dismissed and given empty promises, gaslit,” over the years, she now felt that as his career had snowballed, she was suddenly ‘good enough to marry.”
She said: “My BF ended up rising up the ranks until he became an executive. I was a SAHM (stay at home mum), so I felt like there was always a power imbalance, exasperated by the fact I could be tossed any time. I partly did stay because I wanted my kids to have the best life and because I felt lucky and proud to be partnered with such an intelligent, successful man, but also because I loved him.”
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She continued: “All of our kids went to a private school. I had to endure PTA mums' jabs about me not sharing a last name with my kids. Pre-teen years were hell because the other kids would taunt my kids by saying: ‘Your dad would rather sin and go to hell than marry your mum!’
However in recent years she admitted that his career had taken a turn for the worst, and while he would ‘never be poor’, the company he worked for took a nosedive during 2020 and: “He had made enemies out of associates / board members.”
After opting to take a generous severance package, the boyfriend was now living off his investments and looking to relax, however the girlfriend said: “I did not like how his career ended and how he treated people and had been deciding whether I wanted to leave and find somebody else after our youngest turns 18.”
After admitting the proposal was a huge shock, the fact she rolled her eyes had infuriated her boyfriend, who was offended when she told him that now he’s downsizing she’s suddenly: ‘Good enough to marry.”
“He got mad and said that now that as he's no longer an executive, I suddenly think our relationship is disrespectful. And started implying I was a gold digger. I was so angry I walked out and said I might just go out looking for a respectful relationship because I don't know what respect is anymore.”
With almost 5k people voting on her revelation on Reddit and more than 1.5k comments, many were quick to question why she had stayed with him for so long. “There was a reason that he refused to marry you while he was working and a reason that he's willing to now,” said one. “I would get to the bottom of that before I agreed to anything with this man.”
Another reader said: “He wants someone to care for him when he's old and infirm,” while one commented: “Consult a divorce lawyer asap to find out where you currently stand and whether or not the 25 years you have invested in this relationship have entitled you to any assets or financial support. They can advise you on your best next steps.”
One reader was incredulous towards his reaction: “You’ve been with him for a quarter century without ownership in anything, and he called you a gold digger?" "Too little too late,” said another. “That eye roll represents 25 years of eye rolls. You should tell him you’re sorry for the confusion but you don’t care anymore.”
I’m honestly baffled why you allowed yourself to get to this place where you resent your partner so much. Your partner sounds like a selfish guy who appears not to have respected your wishes nor cared about making you happy all these years.
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