'My pal's boyfriend is going to propose with awful gesture - I want to warn her'
When it comes to planning the perfect proposal, many romantics look to their loved one's family or friends for a bit of advice.
Do they want a bit public gesture or something more intimate? And what kind of ring have they always dreamt of?
But when one guy decided to get his girlfriend's best friend's views on his proposal plan he didn't quite get the answer he was hoping for. If fact, it ended up in a bit of a row and the woman now wants to warn her friend about what's in store, believing it will break her heart.
The anonymous friend sought advice on Reddit, asking she should come clean about what she knows to the friend.
She writes: "My best friend has been dating her boyfriend for over 5 years. A while back he reached out to me to help figure out ring size and the set up so he could make this the most magical day for her.
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She doesn't know what to do (stock photo) (Getty Images/iStockphoto)"Having known my friend for over 20+ years, I know exactly how she wants her proposal to go and who she wants to be there, so I relayed all this information to him months ago via texts and over the phone. I even took the time to covertly find and confirm which ring she would love the most."
She explains that her friend is "very family oriented" but has had concerns that the boyfriend hasn't made enough to get to know them since they started dating.
However he has decided not to include her family in the proposal, but he has invited his own family and friends to be there.
She goes on: "Recently, through a mutual friend, I found out he started a group text between his (emphasis on HIS) friends and his family to set up the time and date of the proposal. He has not only excluded myself (and according to the screenshots I’ve seen, he is doing everything VERBATIM I suggested he do) but he has completely excluded her family and other close friends from the event.
"He is planning on only having his “boys” and family present for the occasion, and knowing my friend this would ultimately break her heart not being able to share this moment with her loved ones.
"I got a heated and called him. At first he was dodging my questions, then just out right said 'this is my proposal and I’ve spent enough time and money to choose how I do it, just be happy for your friend. It’s not like you’re not coming to the wedding.'
What do you think she should do? Have your say in the comment section below.
The women have been friends for more than 20 years (stock image) (Getty Images)"This INFURIATED me, and to make matters worse, I ran into her mom and dad at the grocery store and subtly asked if they knew of any possibility she was getting engaged. They were unaware, and I know for a fact my friend has told him that he needs to ask her parents for their blessing (she’s somewhat traditional)."
The woman is extremely concerned about how her friend will react to the proposal, which is scheduled for next weekend, and doesn't know whether to warn her so she can prepare.
She finishes the post: "My friend wears her heart on her sleeve, and I can predict how this event will go down when she sees all of his close friends and family and none of hers.
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"Considering her previous sentiments about his lack of interest in her family/life, she will 100% see this as being hurtful and selfish and I know she’ll cry.
"To make matters worse, the location of the proposal is a whopping 30 minutes from her parents home.
"I don’t want to get involved in a fight or reveal the surprise, but on the other hand I feel I owe it to my life long friend to help her avoid being hurt and disappointed, maybe even helping her rethink what her future would look like with someone who just doesn’t really appreciate what she values in life. So, AITA if I tell my friend her boyfriend is going to propose?"
Before long the woman was inundated with replies from people offering advice.
While most agreed that the boyfriend wasn't going about it the right way, the majority urged her to stay quiet.
One wrote: "DO NOT TELL HER. As much as you know her and want this proposal to go as planned, it is ultimately up to her boyfriend how he wants to do it. If your friend is disappointed, then that can be her sign to discuss with her fiancé about moving forward. It is not your place to tell her or intervene at this point."
Another added: "Don’t tell your friend. I completely understand why you want to but hear me out. Let this dude show his true colours. If you get in the middle you em seem petty and jealous.
"Let him propose his way and when your friend comes to you and complains you can kindly and gently tell her that you tried to get him to incorporate her friends/family.
"Then you can gently ask her if she wants to spend the rest of her life with a man who doesn’t honor her wants/desires. I repeat JUST LET THIS PLAY ITSELF OUT."
A third commented: "TBH the fact that she's been with this guy for five years makes me wonder if the friend is more OK with some of this than [you] realize. Five years is a long time to completely hide these kinds of personality traits."
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