'I regret proposing to my boyfriend - he's clearly embarrassed I asked first'
Women nowadays marry later, have children later, if at all, and live longer lives. Some unconventional ladies have even opted to propose marriage to their boyfriends. However, others would say that there are excellent reasons why the man should be the one to pop the big question.
On this, a woman took to Reddit to express how upset she was at her fiance’s reluctance to tell his friends and family they were engaged or get involved in wedding plans after she proposed to him. “I proposed to my boyfriend on New Year's Eve and after almost a year, nothing has happened,” she said.
“I bought the rings (showed him some rings, hinted what he liked and I got them). After proposing he wasn't super excited or anything, he seemed grateful,” she said. “We didn't have much money to celebrate, but I really did expect more.” They met while working at the same restaurant. She was a bartender and he was a server; they fell in love and shortly after decided to move in together.
“A couple of months after we started dating he said he really wanted to marry me,” she said, she made nothing of it at the time and the relationship progressed naturally, but remembered what he’d said. They had been living together for over two years when she proposed.
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“Now he has the job he always wanted as a cook, we always talk about growing old together and we have pets together (plus we don't want children),” the 28-year-old said. “And since he has self-esteem issues I thought it would be a good idea for me to propose so that he wouldn't think I was just settling for him or something like that.”
“Time went by and he always says he can't wait to marry me,” she said, but despite those words, she was still upset he wasn’t enthusiastic about celebrating or even marking their engagement in any small way. We didn't even celebrate with a beer or go anywhere. I brought that up and he said if I wanted to do something I could just set it up but like, I feel like I already did my part and he hasn't done anything., she said.
“I told him I didn't expect a huge party or anything, but at least a coffee together would've been nice, or some nice words even” She explained. “All he said is that he couldn't come up with a speech out of the blue.” She describes herself as being “choosey” with the person she’s decided to marry yet, revealed her so-called fiance didn’t tell his loved ones he was engaged and nearly a year has passed. “He says it is a big deal for him too, but he didn't even tell his friends or family. Like any of them,” she said.
The frustrated woman took to Reddit to check if her partner's reaction was common and if he was acting this way because she was the one to propose. One commenter said, “ Is it possible he’s embarrassed to tell people you proposed to him, as it is a non-traditional role reversal? Not trying to say that he’s embarrassed of you, but just the situation?
Would his family or friends be the type to tease him or even shame him about it? If it’s not an enthusiastic yes, I’d also be wary if it were me. Proposal aside you would think he’d be happy to celebrate or plan it at least. Maybe he’s not as into it as he says he is or makes it seem. If you’re up for it, maybe offer to walk it back if he’s not ready and gauge his reaction?”
Another agreed that it would seem he’s not ready for marriage, “Maybe he just not that into you.” One person wrote, “Doesn't sound like he actually wanted to say yes, but you live together so what would have happened if he said no? Awkward. The fact he hasn't told anyone, not even mum or best friend, says everything. I don't think you're really engaged. He just doesn't have the heart or balls to tell you that.”
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