Mum's fury as sister refuses to name baby after her dead son despite tradition
When it comes to picking a baby name, you can't please everyone. And it seems one mum-to-be has found this out the hard way, after experiencing pressure from her family over the name of her unborn child. The expectant woman has taken to the internet in the hopes of getting some advice about her tricky situation and has been inundated with support.
She explained that in her family there's always been a tradition when it comes to names, that the first child born after the loss of a relative, gets that relative's name as a middle name. But the woman isn't keen on continuing this tradition with her own kids - especially as she doesn't like the moniker of the last relative who passed away.
The mum-to-be doesn't want to continue the tradition (Getty Images)In a post on Reddit, the anonymous pregnant woman claimed it was her sister's son who was the last to tragically die, just. two days after he was born. The little boy had been named Philip, and while she's devastated over her baby nephew's death, admitting it was a "earth-shattering blow", she doesn't want to name her own child after him.
She wrote: "I found out I was pregnant a few months ago. I waited a while to tell anyone and my sister was the first person we told, privately. When I told her she said it would be nice to have some positive news to focus on and she wanted me to continue the tradition our family keeps and give my baby, if a boy, the middle name Philip. She was so happy about the idea. It surprised me a lot. I would have figured she would not be okay with it. But she wanted it.
"The problem is my husband and I do not want to continue with the tradition. We do not want to give our son the middle name Philip. The name isn't one either of us likes or would ever pick ourselves... We have not announced the sex of our baby yet but my husband and I know we are expecting a boy."
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The mum-to-be went on to admit how her family had been saying how "amazing" it will be for her baby to be named after Philip and she's subtly tried to put them off the idea, urging them not to jump to conclusions. Eventually, she confessed to them that she was considering going against the family tradition.
"My family, and by that I mean my parents mostly, were really upset. My sister was the worst though. She asked why I wouldn't want to honor Philip and why it was him the tradition was getting broken. She asked if I saw him as meaning so little and I said no, of course not. Then she asked if it was his name and we didn't like it. She said she really hoped it wasn't that. I said we just didn't feel like the tradition was something we wanted to continue.
"The decision has brought up a lot of bad feelings and my sister is especially angry and thinks I'm being insensitive and showing how little I care for my nephew. I feel terrible. She's so angry at me and my parents are unhappy as well. My husband hates them for putting this pressure on us. He said we should be allowed to name our son what we want and we should not be obliged to use a certain name. I never wanted to be an a**hole but my family believes I am."
She asked if she was in the wrong, and over 2,000 people have responded to the post, with many agreeing she isn't. One person replied: "It may be a tradition for your family, but it's not for your partner. This baby is both yours and your partner's, so it's up to you both how you go about naming your child. I understand your family's feelings, but these expectations that someone else who had nothing to do with deciding these traditions will just go with it also seem too one-sided."
However, others could see from both sides, with another writing: "You and your husband have the right to name your child whatever you want. However, your family also has the right to be hurt. Not only is this a tradition, but it's a tradition that honours people the family has lost."
What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.
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