'Wish upon a star for more recouplings like Stormzy and Maya Jama'
The image was almost too perfect to be real. Was it Photoshop, AI, or dare we believe our eyes?
Stormzy and Maya Jama, hand in hand once more, both looking exactly as delighted as befitted the situation, ie almost as delighted as everyone who saw them. These two being back together is irrefutable scientific proof that manifesting works. Clearly so many people hoped for this so desperately that something magical happened and we achieved our objective. Well done, all of us. Next, we could try to bring down the Government... or, reunite some other celebrity couples whose break-ups were similarly devastating, like:
Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston
Obvious but true. The hottest man on the planet, who could have his pick of mates, chose the (stunning, lovely, loaded) Friend next door and we all bought into the fairy tale hook line and sinker. This split was as shocking as it was upsetting, and made much worse by Brad instantly moving on with the Camilla Parker Bowles of the saga.
Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie
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SO IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING. Still, at least Jen eventually found her happily ever after with Louis Theroux’s cousin.
Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux
Aaarrgghh.
Britney Spears & Justin Timberlake
If they’d stayed together, things might have gone very differently for Britney. Or they might have gone the same. Or they might have gone a bit differently but also a bit the same. Definitely one of those.
Charles & Diana
Sigh.
Heidi Klum & Seal
Seemed like such a strong couple, but maybe we confused both being really, really into Halloween costumes with being a strong couple?
Bill & Melinda Gates
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Announced in 2021, after 27 years of marriage, that money does not in fact solve all problems. Weird.
Danny DeVito & Rhea Perlman
Everyone’s favourite fascinating fact – Danny Devito ’s married to the barmaid in Cheers! – ruined forever. Again, is possible we mixed up being the perfect height for each other with being the perfect match for each other.
Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton
Two quirky misfits fitting together sounds like the plot of one of his films, starring her. So why didn’t it end Happily Ever After?
Louise & Jamie Redknapp
This meeting of looks and minds seemed certain to last.
Extremely unsettling when they didn’t, probably for all involved but definitely for all who technically were not, ie us.
Lenny Henry & Dawn French
A bitter blow to the morale of the country when these national treasures called it a day.
They’re both blissfully happy with other people now, but so what? We liked them together. Thank god for Jennifer Saunders and Adrian Edmondson.
No pressure guys.
Katie Price & Peter Andre
Lol.
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