'My name is stupid and hard to say - but changing it would break my mum's heart'
Our names are an important part of our identity - so it's important we resonate with them. But one man has been left feeling at a loss after his mum shouted at him for wanting to change his birth name. He explained how he has always disliked his name - and this hatred only amplified after discovering he was a trans man, making him want to do away with his 'dead name' once and for all.
The man said: "My birth name is German. It's hard to pronounce and in English, it just looks stupid honestly. It could be pretty in a country that actually speaks German, but not in America.
"I've always hated my name because of that. No one wanted to talk to a kid whose name you couldn't pronounce, and I never had a nickname because my name is that foreign. No nicknames stuck, and my middle name is my grandparent's name so I never wanted to use that either."
He wants to do away with his 'dead name' - but his mum is still holding onto it (stock photo) (Getty Images/Tetra images RF)He went on to explain how his parents have common names - but decided to "burden" him and his sister with uncommon ones for "unknown reasons".
He added on Reddit: "When I discovered I was transgender, I was happy because I could change my name without it seeming weird.
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"But then I thought, 'Why is it weird for cis people to change their names? Why does someone else's choice have to affect someone so heavily? Why was I given a name that doesn't fit me at all?'.
"Then I came out to my mum as trans, and talked to her about possible names I could take on. She kept delaying the conversation as much as possible, and when I sent her a list of names I was considering, she asked, 'Do you really hate your name that much?'
"At that point, I had already told her why I didn't like my name. I ended up replying with an attitude, in her words, saying 'Yes, I do hate my name'. And then she got mad at me."
While most users encouraged him to go through with a name change, others reminded him that he is the one who has to live with it "day in and day out", not his mum.
One user said: "My parents gave me a name that is unusual, 50 years of correcting every single person you meet on the pronunciation of your name is tiresome. You don't like your name, change it."
Another user added: "I hate my name too because it is so common, I always have to use a last name. Choose a name you love! Your mum will have to get over it. You have a right to change your name if you want."
A third user said: "I hate my name and the weird way my mum chose to spell it. I've been teased and called wrong names my whole life and my mom is fully aware.
"You have a completely valid reason to change your name, besides just hating it, not that you needed a reason anyway! Go for it!"
One more user added: "There's no rule in life that says you have to like your name. I hated mine for a long time but got used to it.
"It might hurt my mum to hear it - it's a gift you didn't like and that she can't take back, but there's no malice on either side here.
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" Some 'I love yous' and 'I appreciate all you've done for me' could go some way to smooth things over."
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