Sinead O'Connor 'couldn't wait to get to heaven' to see her mother again
Sinead O’Connor said she “couldn’t wait to get to heaven” to see her mother again in an emotional interview back in 2017 where she discussed her abusive childhood and the bittersweet but undying love she had for her mother.
The Irish singer, who passed away on July 26 at the age of 56, didn’t have a good relationship with her mother, Marie.
In recent years, Sinead had spoken openly about how she endured beatings and abuse at the hands of her mother, who died in a car crash when the singer was 18.
Despite her troubled childhood, the Nothing Compares 2 U singer told Dr Phil in the emotional interview that she would have continued to care for her mother – even though she branded her 'evil'.
In a chat with US psychologist Dr Phil back in 2017, Sinead opened up on what life was like for her growing up in Ireland.
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Asked what she resented about her mother, Sinead said: “She kicked the s*** out of me. She won’t change her clothes. She won’t wash. The same for us, five years of living in the same clothes. No washing.”
Sinead gave a candid interview to Dr Phil back in 2017 (Dr. Phil/CBS)Sinead continued: “She won’t heat the house. She won’t get lights. She won’t get out of bed. She won’t stop taking drugs.
“She never tells me I’m pretty. She never tells me I’m sweet. She makes my little brother scream. She smells. There was a smell about her that was sickness. The smell of evil you know.”
Dr Phil asked Sinead how her mum hurt her inside, to which she replied: “Kicking me, kicking me, kicking me, kicking me and kicking me. And telling me I’m evil and telling me I shouldn’t have been born and the reason my father left is my fault.”
Growing up, Sinead shared all she wanted from her mother was “cuddles, love, kisses, sweet names, snuggles”.
Sinead as a child and her mother Marie, who died in a car crash when she was 18 (Dr. Phil/CBS)Saying she “hated not being able to love her”, the singer said had her mother lived she would have tried to take care of her and “maybe have given her some love back”.
She told Dr Phil she just wanted to help her mother, because nobody else did, adding: “I miss her. I cannot tell her I love her. I cannot put my arms around her and tell her she’s alright and actually mother her.
“I wanted to mother her. I would have taken care of her, even if she was an absolute monster.”
Asked what she loved about her mother, Sinead said: “The first thing that came to my mind actually is that she’s dead, which is a very strange thing to come to mind.
“I think it was very kind of her. Although I miss her horribly, I really ache for her, and I think that’s part of where my suicidal instinct comes from, that I want my mother.
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“I cannot wait until the day that I naturally get to Heaven so that I can see my mother again. I’d throw myself on her like a monkey and I’d never let go. I’d tell her I love you, I love you, I missed you so bad.
“My life has been terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible. I miss her so bad. I can’t wait to see her again.”
The Nothing Compares 2 U singer's family shared the news of her death at 56 on Wednesday evening, sparking tributes from heartbroken friends and celebrities across the world.
In her final social media post, Sinead tweeted a picture of her late son and wrote: "Been living as undead night creature since. He was the love of my life, the lamp of my soul. We were one soul in two halves. He was the only person who ever loved me unconditionally. I am lost in the bardo without him.”
Police were called to Sinead's home in Lambeth, south east London on Wednesday morning following a report of an unresponsive woman at the home, however Sinead was pronounced dead at the scene. Her death is not being treated as suspicious.
The full statement read: "Police were called at 11:18hrs on Wednesday, 26 July to reports of an unresponsive woman at a residential address in the SE24 area. Officers attended. A 56-year-old woman was pronounced dead at the scene. Next of kin have been notified. The death is not being treated as suspicious. A file will be prepared for the Coroner."
*If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email [email protected] or visit their site to find your local branch
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