'I went to Japan - I ended up in a naked communal bath and eating squid guts'

23 July 2023 , 08:50
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Tokyo
Tokyo's busy and colourful streets (Image: Shutterstock / ESB Professional)

Sizzling street food aromas filled the sultry night air in the maze of narrow streets as raindrops fell like liquid crystals, casting a shimmering glow on the wet asphalt which reflected the vibrant neon lights above.

The surreal juxtaposition of those reflections illuminating ancient relics, statues and futuristic skyscrapers alike seemingly went unnoticed by the swell of people around me. This was exactly the Japan I expected.

Earlier, our taxi driver had blitzed down the rain-soaked high street of Osaka, with high-end fashion boutiques flying past at an alarming rate.

But behind that facade sits the real beating heart of this historic Japanese city which has become the modern food epicentre of the country, aka Kansai’s Kitchen, a place that’s not good for the waistline – but great for the heart and soul.

'I went to Japan - I ended up in a naked communal bath and eating squid guts' qeituiqqeieqinvDotonbori district in Osaka (Getty Images)

To get out of the rain we dived into a small restaurant called Okonomiyaki Dan where a dinner of octopus fried noodles, plus roast pork housed inside a silky omelette, sizzled on the hot plate in front of us.

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After that was safely devoured, we were off out into the mayhem again, only pausing for a refreshing saki at one of the many, many streetside bars which are packed with people huddling up for company and shelter from the elements. This really was the perfect start to my four-night, four-city dash around Japan’s best bits.

Following a superb night’s rest at the Zentis Osaka Hotel thanks partly to the fabulous cocktail bar – you can’t go wrong with a Wasabi Smash or the signature Riverside Garden consisting of gin, elderflower, shiso (a local plant leaf), soda and lemon – I made the journey north for an altogether slower experience.

A two-hour train ride away is Kinosaki Onsen, which is the best example in the country of a city which has managed to stay true to its traditional values. And if you are looking for a relaxing, peaceful place while also being able to jump outside your comfort zone, this is it.

'I went to Japan - I ended up in a naked communal bath and eating squid guts'Kinosaki Onsen river (Shutterstock / HikoPhotography)

The ‘Onsen’ in the city’s name refers to the hot springs which allow visitors to don traditional yukata robes and geta clogs and stroll from bath to bath before disrobing and taking a dip in the very warm waters completely naked.

This platonic naked communion, known as hadaka no tsukiai, allows the opportunity for spiritual and physical healing, with the 42C water clearing and focusing the mind.

Some might need that new-found serenity when it comes to dinner at the traditional ryokan inn I stayed at.

Nishimuraya Honkan’s owners have made sure the Omotenashi principles of Japanese hospitality are strictly adhered to, along with a Kaiseki dining style of many small dishes, each of which brings a new level of flavour and sometimes (gulp) challenge.

'I went to Japan - I ended up in a naked communal bath and eating squid guts'The crab brains and squid guts chef's special in Kinosaki Onsen (Daily Mirror)

An authentic Japanese meal, consisting of 10 courses, including a steamed seafood medley, seasonal sashimi, ‘Minazuki’ custard with conger eel – as well as a chef’s special of crab brains and squid guts – on what could have doubled as the set of Kill Bill, provided a frankly delicious test.

Kyoto was the third leg of my Japanese adventure and the country’s former capital city is still its centre of high-culture, packed with more than 1,600 Buddhist temples and 400 Shinto shrines dating back over 1,300 years.

I visited a number of them in my dive around the city, with the 13th century temple Nanzen-ji ranking above all the rest within the Buddhist hierarchy.

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'I went to Japan - I ended up in a naked communal bath and eating squid guts'Japan's former capital Kyoto (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

As I arrived at the base of the 500-year-old ‘sanmon’ gate with its huge cedar wood pillars, the aroma of incense filled the dense city air which I had become somewhat accustomed to over the previous few days.

And as I took my place at the side of the temple’s karesansui (dry landscape garden) which is meant to symbolise a mother tiger crossing the stream with her cubs, I settled in to try to answer the question offered by our guide… ‘What is the sound of one hand clapping?’

After contemplating that – and making little progress – I made my way across town to the main spiritual attraction in Kyoto, the incredible Sanjusangen-do. Originally built in 1164, the ‘Temple of 33 bays’ burned down 85 years later before rising from the ashes in 1266.

This ornate building is a designated Japanese national treasure and the length of a football pitch. It houses 1,001 wooden versions of the Buddhist deity Kannon – 124 of which survived the fire which claimed the original building – under a ceiling reminiscent of Westminster Hall.

'I went to Japan - I ended up in a naked communal bath and eating squid guts'Nanzen-ji Temple in Kyoto (Shutterstock / Cezary Wojtkowski)

Each of the Kannon was painstakingly made, lacquered and then covered in resplendent gold leaf which today still reflects the sunlight streaming through the traditional Japanese shoji doors.

I stayed at The Hotel Higashiyama in Kyoto with the waterfall shower an absolute pleasure, as was the experience of the fabled Japanese electric toilet – especially the seat-warming function!

Finally, it was on to the madness of Tokyo via the Shinkansen (bullet train) where thanks to tour guides from Inside Japan (insidejapantours.com), Richard and James, we had an excellent plan to get around the highlights of this massive city.

The journey began 310 miles away and took just 2 hrs 40mins but I sat in perfect comfort watching small town after small town, seemingly endless rice paddy fields and huge construction projects whizz past in the blink of an eye.

I arrived at Tokyo’s Shinjuku train station, which is the world’s busiest, serving more than three million people a day. Witnessing this sea of humanity going about its business was mind boggling.

'I went to Japan - I ended up in a naked communal bath and eating squid guts'Michael Ham at the Nintendo shop in Tokyo (Daily Mirror)

The punishing heat and humidity, music blaring from every shop door, huge 3D adverts on massive billboard displays, neon lights and sheer volume of people make Tokyo an attack on the senses. Away from the hustle and bustle, though, is the former Edo-period Imperial Gardens at Hama-rikyu.

This sprawling expanse of green pastures, still lakes and small historic buildings pitted against the backdrop of some of Tokyo’s newest and tallest skyscrapers really puts into perspective a city still coming to terms with how best to deal with its vast heritage and plans for the future.

Of course, a trip to Tokyo wouldn’t be complete without sampling the famous nightlife, which is guaranteed to go on until the early hours. The neon-clad bars are tightly packed, blasting out an array of 80s, 90s and early 2000s anthems for the karaoke enthusiasts to bop along to, with walls and ceilings alike covered with currency from around the world.

I concluded my Japanese adventure at the BELLUSTAR Tokyo. This is the capital’s newest hotel, only opening in May, and is based in The Kabukicho Tower.

This 47-floor beast of a building where even the hotel managers say they get lost is changing the face of Tokyo’s skyline and is unique for a number of reasons.

'I went to Japan - I ended up in a naked communal bath and eating squid guts'Tokyo skyline and Mount Fuji (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

The first 17 floors are designated for entertainment, with an underground club open until 28:30 (4.30am to you and me), a 24-hour food court, Japan’s answer to Las Vegas with a gaming floor where you can drink – a no-no at every other gaming place in the country – and an eight-screen cinema.

The rest of the building is split into two hotels, with a stay in the luxury Bellustar where nothing is left to chance the perfect way to end a great trip.

Growing up, I always thought of Japan as a mystical, confusing place. But it turns out to be a place where neon lights illuminate ancient buildings for a perfect blend of new and old.

But, on second thoughts, they can keep the squid guts...

Book the holiday

  • Finnair flies from Heathrow, Manchester and Edinburgh via Helsinki to Osaka, Japan, from £846 return; from £3,309 in Business Class. finnair.com
  • Rooms at the Zentis Osaka hotel start at around £185 a night B&B. zentishotels.com
  • Rooms at the Nishimuraya Honkan ryokan in Kinosaki Onsen start at around £175 per person per night B&B. nishimuraya.ne.jp/honkan/
  • Rooms at the Hotel Higashiyama in Kyoto start at around £135 a night B&B. tokyuhotelsjapan.com
  • Rooms at the BELLUSTAR Tokyo hotel start at around £480 a night B&B. panpacific.com
  • Inside Japan offers a 14 night B&B Best of Japan tour from £1,950 per person with transport, some guided visits and a range of cultural experiences. International flights extra. insidejapantours.com

You can find more information at japan.travel/en/uk

Michael Ham

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