'I convinced myself I wasn't an alcoholic - until I did something awful'
A woman decided she needed to confront her relationship with alcohol when she found herself pouring a glass of vodka one morning.
Charlotte Southall, from Lytham in Lancashire, had always brushed off the thought of being addicted to alcohol because she did not drink on a daily basis, and used occasions such as parties, Christmas and New Year as reasons not to give up completely.
“Every time I drank it was like playing Russian roulette," Charlotte told Lancashire Live. "I didn’t know how or when it was going to end.
"Though I knew I needed to stop, I always managed to convince myself that I wasn’t an alcoholic because I didn’t drink every day, so therefore I couldn’t have a problem.
The mum-of-one used alcohol as a confidence booster (Getty Images)“However, I remember one morning I found myself pouring a glass of vodka before it had even hit mid-day and I knew then things needed to change.”
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The 35-year-old used alcohol as a confidence booster, but despite outward appearances, Charlotte was miserable on the inside.
She explained: "Whenever I would drink, it almost always ended in negative consequences that had an impact on my relationships, and soon it began to affect all aspects of my life. It was making me mentally and physically unwell.
“I spent so much time burying myself beneath alcohol that I lost view of who I really was, and I really didn’t like myself anymore.”
In the end, she knew something needed to change, so she sought help from residential retreat, Delamere, which aims to help people with addiction.
But despite wanting to tackle her addiction, Charlotte admits it wasn't always easy taking the first steps.
She said: "For me in the beginning, I struggled with future events I used to think months ahead and be like “What will I do at Christmas if I can’t have a drink?” “What will I do at New Year?” I used to struggle a lot but when I changed my mind set to just taking things one day at a time it got much easier!"
Charlotte also admitted that she feared losing her 'party girl' status, and was worried that people wouldn't see her as the same 'fun' person.
Charlotte admitted that she was scared of confronting her problem to begin with (Getty Images)She continued: “When I first realised I needed to make a change, and made the decision to go to Delamere, I was scared. I honestly felt as though if I gave up drinking completely and gave up my party girl status, I would have no friends and my life would be over.
“But that couldn’t have been further from the truth, giving up drinking has given me my life back and I am so proud of myself.
“I am now also a mum, and life could not be better. It has been the most challenging but exciting time of my life and I absolutely love it. It makes me feel as though I have a purpose, and who I am meant to be.”
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