'My dad axed me from his wedding to cut costs - then had lavish stag do abroad'

12 April 2023 , 11:33

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The woman is 'hurt' by her dad's actions (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images/Cultura RF)

The type of wedding you have is up to you and your partner, and while some couples will opt for a big wedding with all their loved ones invited, others prefer something a little more low-key.

But however you decide to mark your wedding day, you may face questions from some of your family if you chose not to invite them to celebrate with you.

And one woman definitely has a few questions for her dad, who told her she wasn't invited to his upcoming wedding because he's having a small destination wedding and wants to keep costs down - but he's still splashing the cash on a lavish stag do at a villa in Portugal.

The bride and groom aren't inviting anyone to their wedding (stock photo) (Getty Images/fStop)

The woman explained her dad and soon-to-be stepmum announced their engagement at her son's second birthday party, and immediately said none of the family would be invited except for the woman's 13-year-old sister.

When the woman later told her dad she was hurt by the announcement, he told her she was being unreasonable, and said she wasn't invited because it would be too expensive.

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She wrote in a post on Mumsnet: "My dad and stepmum are getting married next month but I'm not invited.

"It all started on my son's birthday in 2021. It was totally random and they announced it while celebrating my son's second birthday and then went on to say no one is invited except for my little sister (who is 13) and they are going abroad to do it.

"Absolutely fine. I did speak to my dad about it and explained that I was upset I wasn't invited but my little sister was going, and he completely turned it around on me saying I was being unreasonable he didn't think I could afford it, and they didn't want to make it a big deal. A lot of the family was upset about their decision, but at the end of the day, that's up to them."

But now, the woman has found out that both her dad and his wife-to-be are planning lavish hen and stag parties that will see them go to Portugal with all their mates.

The mum was livid at the discovery, as she believes the parties "completely contradict" the couple's decision to have a low-key wedding, as well as undoing any money they saved by not inviting any family to the wedding.

She added: "So why I'm now p***ed off is that I just found out yesterday that my stepmum is having a hen do with all her friends and renting a villa in Portugal and my dad is having a stag do.

"First I've heard about it and only found out because I heard my stepmum talking about it to my Auntie! Now, am I going crazy or is that completely contradicting the fact they wanted it to be low-key? Saying I wasn't invited because it wasn't a big deal and I couldn't afford it, yet splashing out on a hen and stag with their friends?"

Commenters on the post were split over the issue, as while some said they understood why the woman was hurt, others said the couple had done nothing wrong - as it's their wedding and they can celebrate however they want to.

One person said: "You need to wish them well and get over yourself. They're not doing anything wrong. There will be no 'wedding drama' when you stop creating it. Buy them a wedding present, give your dad a hug and stop spoiling their wedding."

While another added: "Thing is - this isn't yours to control. Let it go and wish them luck."

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But someone else saw the woman's point of view, writing: "I would be hurt too. Firstly for inviting one child but not the other. Then for your stepmother not inviting her adult stepdaughter to celebrate in any capacity. I wouldn't say anything though, as they are unlikely to see the problem from your shoes. Don't send a gift."

And a fourth stated: "I think the worst thing they did was announce this on your son's birthday! A very odd thing to do when you're not inviting the people in question.

"I think the hen/stag do is fine, though if those people are also going to the wedding then it's just turning into a normal wedding with guests really, and it's a bit off not to invite you."

Zahna Eklund