'I refuse to let autistic brother live with me - mum is furious but he's a brat'

1118     0
She doesn
She doesn't want her autistic brother to move into her house (stock) (Image: Getty Images/Tetra images RF)

A woman has opened up about the effect of having an autistic brother and how it changed her and her family’s lives. Revealing that she and her other sisters have always felt they came second to her brother, she admitted that it was a relief when she finally moved out of the family home and got away from him and her mum.

Sharing the complicated story on social media, the 29-year-old explained that she has two older sisters, aged 33 and 35, and a younger brother, who has autism, aged 24. She wrote: “I don't have a good relationship with my mom and brother because for my whole life I saw how she was spoiling him to the cost of me and my sisters.”

Giving examples of things like allowing him to blow out candles and unpack presents at their, birthdays, she added that he was always given money for things he wanted but they had to “earn” it with chores.

She added: “My college graduation trip was cancelled because he wanted to stay at home. He threw a tantrum when he was asked for simple things like cleaning dishes. The argument was always "You must understand: he has autism". So I was so happy to move out and live with my partner.”

Read more: Sign up to Mirror US's SMS updates for the latest straight from the newsroom

Brendan Fraser 'blamed himself' and felt 'crestfallen' at son's autism diagnosis qhiqquiqzdidqtinvBrendan Fraser 'blamed himself' and felt 'crestfallen' at son's autism diagnosis

She explained that at her recent wedding, her mum took her to one side and said how excited and happy she was that her brother was going to be living with her from now on. She continued: “I don't have to say that I was shocked. No one ever told me or my husband about this "plan". I asked what she was talking about and her answer was ‘Isn't that obvious? He likes you the most and you have the money’.

“I was furious. It was my wedding and she was trying to force me and my husband to take care of the brat that she created. I said that I wouldn't let my brother ruin our lives and she could forget about this nonsense. Now she and part of my family are calling me a selfish a**hole but on the other side, my husband and friends are on my side.”

People reading the tricky Reddit post were sympathetic to the blindsided sister with many offering words of encouragement and ideas of what to say to the family in response. One person suggested: “Just tell them: ‘Thank you for your words. Everything you said is true and is the exact reason why I would be a horrible option for him to live with. Thank you for volunteering in my place. I'll let my mother know that you'll take him instead.’ And watch as your phone starts going silent.”

Another user chimed in: “Autistic or not, if you never teach someone discipline, they'll grow up to be a brat. Autism is not a get-out-of-jail-free card. Your brother grew up with an enabler of a mother and now he doesn't know how to be a proper adult, and that's her fault.

“Your mom has probably realized the kind of person she let your brother grow up to be, and now she doesn't want to deal with the consequences of her actions. You don't owe your mom or your brother anything. Your mom made her bed, and now she has to lie in it.”

Eve Wagstaff

Print page

Comments:

comments powered by Disqus