'My friend outfit-shamed me when I came to visit her newborn - I'm staggered'
A woman was left pondering if there was a dress code for visiting women who have just had a baby after another friend told her she'd caused a huge drama with her outfit choice.
The days, weeks and even months after having a baby can be exhausting both physically and emotionally for new parents. Friends and family often offer to help out where they can and many will be desperate to pay a visit to the bundle of joy for the first time.
One woman who was excited to see her best friend Hannah and take along some gifts for her newborn did just that a few days after she had left the hospital. She stayed for a few hours and had a good chat with her buddy.
But what she thought was an innocent and entirely normal act backfired when a mutual friend, Louise, who went to visit the family a few days after, told her she had made the new mum cry.
Apparently Hannah was really teary over what she had chosen to wear (a crop top and short leggings) when she stopped by because she felt her friend was "rubbing it in". Louise told her Hannah had been so distraught over it that she couldn't stop crying and didn't want to eat the dinner her husband made for her that evening.
'I don't want children staying up late at weekends - I really need adult time'
The baffled pal shared her story on Reddit and explained: "I asked Louise if Hannah was really upset with me and she said that she'd have probably been hurt too; Louise has a toddler and she told me that wearing a crop top to see your friend that soon after having a baby is insensitive because it can be hard to adjust to your new body."
The mum's husband had been there during the visit and he too apparently had some "choice words'" over her choice of outfit. The woman was concerned that other friends who were popping in to meet the baby would have also been told about the 'incident'. She said she really didn't consider it was a big deal and "genuinely didn't think anything of it" when she got dressed beforehand but wanted to know what others thought, saying she didn't want to be "the bad guy".
Opinions on the saga were mixed. Some thought the reaction was completely over the top: "Omg your friends are wild sensitive. Just because they feel insecure about their bodies doesn't mean they get to dictate what everyone else wears," wrote one.
Another agreed: "Exactly. Her friend is pathetic for acting that way." However one pointed out that the new mum was going through a difficult time after giving birth: "She isn't pathetic. She just had a baby, is probably exhausted and her hormones are going to be out of whack while her body adjusts post-giving-birth," they wrote.
A second agreed that her hormones could be to blame: "We don't know the context that she talked to her friend about this," they said. "She could have been asking her friend if her reaction was crazy for all we know. I absolutely talked to friends/ my sister when I was in my immediate post-partum period to ask if my reaction was reasonable or if it could just be the crazy post-partum hormones that are especially bad for two to three weeks after giving birth. I had to ask them this because at the time, I honestly had no way of telling if it was a fair reaction or not."
Others believed that it was mutual pal Louise who was in the wrong: "Honestly, the friend is the a**hole. The mum didn't say anything to OP [original poster] probably because she realised it was just her being upset. Then thought she could talk to a friend who has also had a baby so would understand. The friend had no business telling OP she was insensitive."
A second backed this opinion: "That's what Louise said the mother said. We don't know what was actually said or the context in which it was said," they shared. While a third agreed: "She may have just been semi hysterically ranting with no expectation that this would ever be passed on. I've done that before without all the extra stuff happening to me."
Who do you think was in the wrong here? Let us know in the comments below.
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