Mum applauded after admitting having baby was the 'biggest mistake' of her life
A mother has been applauded after she bravely opened up about her life, admitting she feels like she made a mistake having kids and if she could change things, she would. Taking to social media to share her concerns, she wrote: “Yep. I said it. Becoming a mom is my biggest regret. If I could go back in time and make the decision again I would be child-free.
“Having a baby has taken every ounce of joy from me. I don’t enjoy a single thing anymore. Leaving the house is an ordeal. Eating is an ordeal. Taking a shower is an ordeal. I dread waking up every single day.”
The new mum confessed that she feels having a baby has robbed her of everything, admitting she feels like she’s lost her body, her confidence, social life, sex life, and work life. She wrote: “My relationship is even in the s****er. I hate everything. All I do is sit and listen to crying and screaming, covered in puke all day. I can’t take it anymore. I wish I could just leave and start a new life but I’m stuck. Forever.
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“I struggled during the newborn stage and thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel when he was about three months old but honestly, I had a few OK weeks before teething and sleep regression and tantrums started. I have never been more miserable. He’s currently seven-months-old. Weaning sucks. Sleeping sucks. Everything sucks. I am sick of my life.”
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People reading the heartbreaking Reddit post rushed to thank her for being so honest but pleaded with her to speak to a doctor about how she was feeling. One person replied: “This. I said these exact words and was all ‘I’m not depressed’ until the day I called my husband to come home because I could not stop thinking of death while doing laundry. A few days after starting an SSRI (Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), I felt okay-ish. A week later, I laughed. A month later, I realized that I loved being a mother. Friend, please please please call your doctor and insist on being seen ASAP. Or go to the ER. I don’t say that lightly but you need help. Hang in there please. It gets better. I promise. Is it easy? Hell no. But it’s not this bad. This is depression.”
Someone else added: “I felt a lot like you in the beginning. I still definitely have moments of thinking ‘this is a huge rip off’ but mostly I think that’s because no one ever spoke to us in a real and honest way about motherhood and the journey it will take you on. It does get better. Not easier, harder in a different way, but definitely better. I have a four-year-old and we are currently watching a movie and eating pretzels on the couch.”
After being inundated with messages of support the sad mum added an update thanking people for their kind words. She replied: “After reading so many I realised that it’s not just ‘life’ and it shouldn’t really feel this way… I’ve made an appointment to speak to my doctor. I can’t thank you enough. I thought I would be alone in this and I’d get a million comments calling me a bad mom. Turns out it’s quite the opposite. I really appreciate you all reaching out.
“I don’t have a village. I live around 400 miles away from my family and my partner works 12 hours a day six days a week. He does what he can when he gets home but then I take over the ‘night shift’ again so he can be rested for work. He has a dangerous job so it’s a non-negotiable. I have signed us up for multiple baby groups and every time I go it’s just a misery listening to everyone else enjoy motherhood.
“I’m currently on maternity leave but due to childcare restrictions I likely won't be able to come back so I’m looking for part-time work elsewhere and trying to arrange nursery etc. It’s a lot to do while taking care of a baby alone, I’ll admit.
For emotional support, you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org, visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.
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