Couple thought health condition meant they'd never have children

26 February 2024 , 10:05

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Steve, Natalia and their children together (Image: Family handout)

A woman who thought her health condition would stop her from having kids had her world transformed by a single phone call.

Natalia and Steve, both in their late twenties, bought a house together and started thinking about starting a family - something they'd always dreamed of. But life doesn't always go as planned. The couple, who live in Liverpool, were struggling to have a baby and decided to try IVF. After four tough rounds that didn't work, Natalia said: "The rounds of IVF were brutal and an emotional roller-coaster. It's devastating when you find out it hasn't worked."

After thinking hard about what to do next, Natalia and Steve decided that adoption was the best choice for them. They started looking into it and got in touch with Adoption In Merseyside (AiM). AiM is a group that helps find loving homes for children in Knowsley, Liverpool, Sefton and Wirral, and supports people who want to adopt.

AiM say that right now, there are 55 kids in their area who need a permanent family. They're always on the lookout for kind people ready to welcome these children into their lives and give them the care and love they really need. Before Natalia and Steve could try to adopt, AiM suggested they take a break after their last IVF attempt. This is so future parents can get ready emotionally and physically for the new adventure of adopting.

Steve said: "It was comforting to know that if we passed all the checks and assessments we would be able to start a family. Compared to IVF, it now felt we had some control and could start planning and getting excited for our future family." After going to a meeting about adoption run by AiM, Natalia and Steve got help from a social worker. They were happy to begin this journey and found the self-assessment part really helpful.

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Before moving forward with adopting, people have to fill out a form about their own life, reports the Liverpool Echo. Steve said: "It's a time for a lot of self-reflection. It really brings home the core values you want to deliver as a mum and dad." But AiM wants to clear up some wrong ideas about adoption, like the ones about people who have mental health issues not being allowed to adopt. The organisation published guidelines around this issue which includes the following statement: "Disabilities and mental health conditions can often be perceived as a barrier to adoption, but this isn't necessary always the case.

Natalia and Steve with their children (Family Handout)

"There may be times when the agency feels that someone's mental health or disability is not stable enough to parent an adopted child. This would be considered early on in the process with the input of medical professionals and the wider support network." Natalia, who was concerned her mental health condition might prevent her from adopting, shared: "I have bipolar disorder which I'm very open about and mentioned it during the process."

"I was a little worried about how my mental health condition would be perceived. But, I didn't need to worry. Our social worker supported me and we were honest and open throughout. Of course it has to be well managed but there's no reason it should stop people from adopting."

You Can Adopt, a nationwide campaign encouraging adoption supported by the Department for Education, says about mental health: "Many people have short periods of stress, depression or anxiety in their lives and whilst there would need to be discussion about how this has been managed this is unlikely to prevent you adopting a child. Some people have longer term mental health conditions which are well controlled with medication.

"There would need to be discussion about this and a medical would provide the agency with medical advice in relation to your ability to adopt a child. The main considerations will relate to the frequency with which you are unwell, how that manifests itself and who is there to offer support at such times."

Natalia and Steve now have two adopted children and their family is complete - they could not be happier and share all the ups and downs of family life together. Music is a central part of family life and they regularly attend music festivals, have kitchen discos and singalong bedtimes. Asked to describe how adopting children has changed their lives, Steve joked: "Summing up the impact on our lives can be characterised by two words, 'sleep deprivation!' Honestly though, it has completed us."

Natalia adds: "We were looking for a forever family and the kids were looking for a forever family. Thankfully, we found each other and now we can say we're all part of the same forever family." If you would like to know more information about adopting a child, you can book onto an Adoption in Merseyside information session HERE.

Rom Preston-Ellis