'I'm proof not to skip smear test - I didn't think symptoms were cancer-related'
Amy Turner, 49, lives near Liverpool with her husband and nine-year-old daughter. She spent six months believing her symptoms were linked to the perimenopause or being a new mum before discovering that she had cervical cancer.
‘With my three-year-old daughter to look after and my job as a senior member of staff in a secondary school, life in 2018 was busy. That’s my only excuse for missing my smear tests, although I can’t tell you how much I regret that now. At first, I thought I was experiencing early menopause when I started bleeding after intimacy and in between periods. I also wondered if it was related to the fact I’d relatively recently become a mum. Then, when I started feeling pain in my pelvis and at the top of my thighs, I thought that was because I was going to the gym and trying to look after myself.
I find this quite embarrassing, but the other symptom was a different vaginal odour. You know your own body and, as the months passed, my gut feeling told me this was more than perimenopause. It kept niggling, until one Monday morning I went to the local walk-in sexual health clinic. It was full of kids who’d obviously had a great weekend and were now making sure they had no problems as a result – and me. I couldn’t meet anyone’s eye. When I was called through, I told the nurse my concerns and was instantly ushered on to the bed for a smear test.
When the results came through, I was referred for a colonoscopy to investigate further. Despite having a bad feeling, I desperately hoped I was wrong, but I’ll never forget the doctor saying, “You have cancer,” in May 2018.
Everything stopped, like an out-of-body experience and I instantly thought of my daughter. Although my husband knew what was happening, I’m an only child and breaking the news to my parents was awful. Mum wrote me a heartbreaking message saying, “I haven’t given you a card or present but I would swap with you in a heartbeat.”
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Sometimes I felt numb about what was happening and, at other times, the enormity of it hit me in waves. I felt angry because I was fit and healthy and had never had health issues. But I also couldn’t believe I’d missed my smear tests and the opportunity to be treated at an earlier stage. My initial treatment plan was a radical hysterectomy, but further tests revealed the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes. As a result, I had radiotherapy, chemotherapy and brachytherapy, which is internal radiotherapy, in the summer of 2018.
Amy with her husband and daughterIt was a 45-minute drive to the Wirral for treatment, so my husband, parents and friends drove me there daily for three months. It took all day and when my mum was with me, people often looked surprised when I was called through rather than her. Aged 43, I was so much younger than everyone else, I felt out of place. Our daughter was too little to burden with the details of my illness, so I styled it out with her and acted as if everything was normal. It helped that I didn’t lose my hair, but I missed her taster day for primary school, which was really hard. The treatment wiped me out too – I remember one day when she was desperate for me to throw a ball with her, but I had to lie on the sofa and throw it from there.
My treatment meant I went into full-on menopause and I felt my personality change. I was irritable and had hot flushes and achy joints, although fortunately I was still able to take HRT. I was also exhausted and foggy, to the extent that I’d get into the car and forget where I was going. It was really scary and I felt my memory for detail and my focus disappear too. Going through treatment like I did has a huge effect on everyone around you and it can put a strain on relationships.
It also compromised my hearing, so I need a hearing aid now. I will always regret not getting checked sooner and that’s one reason I talk about it, so other women don’t leave it.
After eight months I was given the all clear, but when my treatment finished in 2019 it was a strange moment. You’re glad it’s over, but you’re out of the cancer bubble – my clinic had always been there for me, but suddenly I was just back to being number nine in the queue at the doctor’s. There’s a video of me ringing the end-of-treatment bell, which should have been a happy moment, but 10 minutes earlier I’d been crying because there was no more treatment I could have and I was scared.
A wonderful woman called Kat Holden runs a life after cancer group and an alternative treatment called Emotional Freedom Technique, that I did with her, helped a lot. I changed a lot of things in my life too, relinquishing some responsibility at work. I’m still a teacher at a different institution and also have my own business teaching languages to primary school children. I also threw myself into doing things like skydiving to raise money for Clatterbridge Cancer Centre and, while it’s a cliché, I now enjoy the little things in life much more. I sometimes say, “Here for a good time, not a long time,” but if I hadn’t relied on gut instinct and gone for that check-up, I wouldn’t be here now.
My daughter recently asked about cancer, after seeing a book about it on the shelf, and so we talked to her about it. For a while she was always asking how I was, but not so much now. I may be cancer-free but my experience has left its mark on all of us and I’d urge every woman to be body aware and get any changes checked. Don’t just assume you’re at a certain stage of life. And always go for smear tests – they’re life-saving and can mean you’re treated early, without devastating side-effects.
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