'I need surgery to be the real me - but NHS waitlists mean it'll cost me £7k'
A non-binary person who needs surgery in order to feel comfortable in their own skin has started a fundraiser to gather the £7,000 needed to fund the procedure privately - after the NHS told them it would take over four years just to get a consultation appointment.
Alix Turner, 51, came out as non-binary to their work colleagues at the beginning of 2020, and decided shortly afterwards that they wanted to go through the process of having top surgery to reduce the size of their chest by "about three-quarters", as they were fed up with people making assumptions based on their figure.
But after speaking to their GP and getting referred to the NHS gender identity clinic, they were told there was a 49-month waiting list for the initial assessment alone, not including the time it would take after that to actually have the surgery.
Eager to get the ball rolling and live their life as their real self as soon as possible, Alix, from Coventry, has now set up a fundraising page on GoFundMe to raise £7,000 so they can have the procedure done by a private surgeon.
They came out as non-binary in 2020 (James Goode)Speaking to The Mirror, Alix said they began to realise their gender identity a couple of years ago, after they first believed their desire to play around with gender presentation was attached to their bisexuality.
Teachers, civil servants and train drivers walk out in biggest strike in decade
They said: "I'm over 50 now, but I first accepted that I was bisexual when I was about 20 years old and I had kind of assumed that playing with different kinds of gender presentation was part of that.
"It was only much later on that I realised that actually there are different ways of seeing things as well because people can be bisexual but be completely female, so if I don't feel like that, what does it mean?
"But for a long time, I didn't think too much about myself. It was very much in the background. It was only when my marriage came to an end a few years ago that I had the new headspace to reflect on who I am and it fell into place a bit more."
Alix, who works behind the scenes at a University, started to publicly present their non-binary identity after coming out to their co-workers three years ago, when they shared a presentation explaining what words and pronouns to use to describe them.
Alix believes having surgery will feel like "heading home" (Holly Revell/People Like Us Project)While they've found that their colleagues are understanding, Alix still has a hard time getting the general public to stop seeing them as female - even though they wear a badge informing others that they use they/them pronouns.
"It tends not to be noticed," they lamented, "it's the public, the people that don't know me, where I started to wince about it more and more over time. I walk into a shop and someone says 'good morning sir', and then I turn around and they see my figure and say 'oh, sorry, madam'. Just good morning would be fine."
Alix even joked they're thinking of drafting up a "standard complaints letter" to email to shops asking them to tell their staff to refer to people as "customers" rather than using gendered terms such as "madam" or "sir".
And it's those interactions with strangers who make assumptions based on their looks that has made Alix all the more determined to have surgery to reduce the size of their breasts, as they hope that with a figure that is less noticeably female, people will think twice before referring to them as a woman.
But Alix explains that getting top surgery isn't an easy procedure, and if they went through the NHS, they would be nearly retired before they were finally able to feel comfortable in their own skin.
They said: "I started off by getting on the NHS waiting list. I did talk to my GP, not long after I had that conversation with my colleagues, actually. I thought obvious next step.
Greggs, Costa & Pret coffees have 'huge differences in caffeine', says report
"He accepted straightaway that I knew what I was looking for. I didn't need help figuring it out, so he was able to write the referral straightaway to the gender identity clinic. It took them a few months to process that, and then they got back to me and told me it was a 49-month waiting list. That's the initial assessment, never mind the referral to people who can do something for me. I don't know how long that part would be.
"I had resigned myself that I'm going to be retired before I can change my appearance. It's miserable."
With the NHS no longer an option, Alix instead turned to self-funding their surgery and having it done privately - where prices range from £6,000 to over £8,000, depending on which surgeon you choose to go with.
In order to help them reach their goal, Alix has set up a GoFundMe page and is looking to raise around £7,000, which would cover most - if not all - of their costs, including the initial assessment with a specialist psychiatrist, whom they are due to see in February. The psychiatrist will then write a letter of recommendation to a surgeon, who will have one consultation meeting with Alix before going ahead with the surgery.
"I just want to change my figure to make it less obviously female. Simple as that as far as I'm concerned," they said, "it may be that other aspects of transition feel worthwhile later on, but I don't think so. I think it can be that simple."
Having the surgery they need would mean the world to Alix, who emotionally said they would feel like "heading home" once they were finally able to be the real them.
They told us: "I want to be seen and accepted as somebody without the preconceptions that come with a very obviously female figure. I don't want to be treated in a way that doesn't align with how I see myself. It's like heading home."
You can check out Alix's fundraiser and donate to help them reach their goal via GoFundMe here.
Read more similar news:
Comments:
comments powered by Disqus
