Five heartbreaking words from son, 8, forced gambling addict to quit for good
For one Manchester dad, gambling used to be a fun activity on the weekends with his friends, starting out with just a few pounds.
However the odd visit to the bookies turned into spinning wheels online. Before long, David Quinti was staying up until sunrise to gamble his life savings away, losing an eye-watering £30,000 in total.
The dad-of-two from Burnage confessed: “It stopped becoming an element of fun and started to consume me. It was taking over my life; I felt like I was in a bubble People would see me but I wasn’t really there. I was quickly becoming tormented inside. My mind was just on gambling.”
The 49-year-old first entered the world of gambling in his late 20s. He would occasionally bet on a football match or a horse race. He said: “People would see me but I wasn’t really there. I was quickly becoming tormented inside. My mind was just on gambling.”
But things took a downward spiral with the rise of the smartphone in the 2010s, meaning the dad could take his betting habit online. This is when the “lines started to blur,” according to the customer service worker. With hundreds of gambling sites at his fingertips, David realised he could bet whenever and wherever he liked.
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He said: “I’m sure I’m not the only one who thought I had some level of skill when I was gambling. Whenever a bet came in it was great – but at that point I felt I could take it or leave it. I joined six to seven sites where I’d been offered free bets. I noticed I was starting to get more involved with live betting which you could do through your phone as the games were going on – the next corner, the next goal, the next card. That’s when the lines began to blur.”
David and his son Luca (David Quinti)The Manchester Evening News reported that David noticed he was spending more and more time engrossed in online gambling. Until then, he had never touched an online casino. The second he signed up to one of the websites, he noticed an immediate shift in his behaviour. He said: “I didn’t want to wait for football games at the weekend anymore. I was so desperate to win money back when I had lost it and it felt so easy to do. It all happens so quickly that you don’t even realise it – and the potential damage you’re doing.”
As his addiction took hold, David noticed his desire to gamble was pushing away his life priorities. He was becoming distracted at work and was spending less time with his family. He said: "It was around this time that his gambling behaviour began to deepen. “I was starting to place casino bets of up to £300 to £400 at a time."
“It was beginning to get reckless. I was gambling on teams I had never heard of. I was regularly staying up until 5am to gamble. I had opened up an extended overdraft and found myself drinking more and more to keep my anxiety levels down. I felt like drinking at the time kept me calmer, but I knew I was going down a wrong path.”
Following years of online gambling, David eventually amassed debts of up to £30,000. No one knew about his ordeal or how it had taken over his life. But that all changed one ordinary night when he was sitting gambling on his sofa. David had a roulette wheel spinning away on his phone when his eight-year-old son came into the room.
The dad said: “I feel like he knew something wasn’t right with me,” the dad said. “He walked in, tried to grab my phone, looked me in my eyes and said, ‘I want you to stop.’ It was a completely eye-opening experience.” Haunted by the incident, David decided to quit gambling for good two weeks later.
Meanwhile, his wife began to question transactions that he’d been making from her account. He knew he had to come clean on what he had been going through – the gambling, the debt and how he had been feeling. After telling his wife everything, David left the house and went out drinking all day. Later that evening, David called his friends and told them everything. They immediately went to visit him and David broke down in tears. “I was in a real mess, but they were all really supportive and said they would help,” he said.
David pledged to seek help for his addiction. He was referred to Beacon Counselling Trust, a local organisation which is part of the National Gambling Support Network and received free one-on-one support sessions. He said: "I did twelve sessions in total. The first few sessions I was in tears but I kept with it and, with each session, my confidence grew in talking about it. Each week it felt more normal, and every day I woke up I realised I couldn’t go back to gambling. I was also referred to the debt charity Stepchange which massively helped me start making improvements on my financial situation.”
David went on to become active in the gambling support space and now educates others about gambling harm to help reduce the stigma. He added: “The stigma is a huge barrier. People are worried about their jobs, their families, their friends and how they may view them. I was a rare example in that no-one found out about my gambling up until the point I stopped, but I certainly felt the stigma stopped me coming forward earlier. Hopefully I’m an example of how you can get through this, but if I didn’t make a change when I did I could have lost everything important to me.”
On life after his gambling addiction, David said: “One of the best benefits is being more present. I used to think about gambling all day or jump out into the car for hours to gamble. Now I’m able to be fully with my family. I’m also able to enjoy going to Man United games with my son – who I’m now open with about my history of gambling – and able to enjoy sports for the sports themselves.”
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On the current challenges facing gamblers, he added: “The current climate is really worrying for people turning to gambling. People may look at it as an opportunity to help ease their bills or potentially get a present for someone, but end up in dire straits as a result. Free bets are particularly worrying at this time as people are incentivised to start gambling for free but could easily lead to them going on a path they can’t afford to go down – both financially and emotionally.”
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