Ashley Cain's ex Safiyya Vorajee breaks down during chat about daughter's death
Ashley Cain's ex-girlfriend Safiyya Vorajee has opened up on her mental state in the aftermath of the tragic death of their daughter, Azaylia, in 2021.
The former couple welcomed their baby into the world in August 2020, but were left devastated after she was diagnosed with leukemia just eight weeks into her short life. Azaylia succumbed to the awful cancer aged just eight months old, with Ex On The Beach star Ashley and author Safiyya splitting a year later.
Now, the brave mum has admitted she considered taking her own life as she struggled to come to terms with the tot's passing. Speaking to GK Barry on her Saving Grace podcast, Safiyya explained that she overcame her negative thoughts after deciding to use her horrific experience as a means of helping others suffering in similar ways.
Baby Azaylia passed away in 2021 aged just eight months (@miss_safiyya_/Instagram)"I really tried not to [question 'why me?']" Safiyya explained. "And that's because I felt so [suicidal] after I lost Azaylia that I thought if I start sitting in 'Why me, why's this, why's this?'... that's why I had to execute my pain and turn my pain into purpose."
She continued: "It was going to go two ways. I was either going to take my own life or I needed to execute it into purpose and make changes in the pain I've endured. And that's what I do." Safiyya went on to add that there is "no preparation" for losing your child - even with such an awful diagnosis. "It feels like you are jumping off a cliff and you've got nothing to hold on it - that's the only definition I can give to it," she said.
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Medics did all they could to save Azaylia, but the nature of the condition simply proved too much. Safiyya explained that she felt like she had "passed away herself" on learning the shock diagnosis at the time. She added: "It felt like a nightmare. I thought I'd actually passed away. I felt I'd passed away and I was going to wake up. All I was doing was being a mum to Azaylia to her the whole time. And then I became a nurse further down the line."
Safiyya and Ashley raised a staggering £1.6 million prior to their daughter's death - in the hope the funds could be used on pioneering life-saving treatment in Singapore. Sadly the bereaved parents never made it East, and instead pledged to use the money to support "other children and their families in the same situation as us".
They subsequently established The Azaylia Foundation, before splitting a year later. Ashley is due to become a father again next month with his new partner, meanwhile.
If you have been affected by this story, advice and support can be found at childbereavementuk.org or you can call them on 0800 02 888 40.
If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email [email protected] or visit their site to find your local branch
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