'Nigel Farage's toxic future is far worse than eating koala testicles'
Have you noticed how Nigel Farage and his groupies love to portray him as a martyr who is persecuted for speaking uncomfortable truths?
Think of the demands for police action after he’d had a milkshake thrown over him and Jo Brand joked “why bother with a milkshake when you could get some battery acid?” Remember the whines about being “bullied” on Have I Got News For You or when tycoons’ bank Coutts closed his account and the millionaire Man of The People claimed “serious persecution” was forcing him out of Britain.
Well he did leave, for the I’m A Celebrity jungle, and although he only has to nibble on the odd koala testicle to earn £1.5million, once again we hear he is suffering worse persecution than a heretical Moor on a Spanish Inquisition rack.
His lawyers fired an angry letter to ITV claiming it had broken an “indecency” clause by showing his naked bottom. Even though Farage spent all his time as an MEP showing Europe his bare buttocks and millions believe ITV had already broken the indecency barrier by hiring him.
His fanboys on GB News claim “Lefty” ITV producers are starving him of airtime because they “don’t agree with his politics” despite it having more to do with them discovering Farage is a Grade One golf club bore.
TOWIE's Chloe Brockett makes cheeky dig at Saffron Lempriere during filmingA bigger fear about the man who was reportedly a fan of Hitler in his youth, is that he has seen the populist wave sweeping the globe, smelt the anger on immigration, calculated that the centrist status quo offered by Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer is a turn-off, and is eyeing up a return to frontline politics. Hence snuggling up to Ant and Dec.
The right-wing Reform UK party, run by Farage’s mates, is gaining traction. A recent YouGov poll gave them 10% of the national vote, just under half of the Tories’ share. As it becomes ever more clear that Rishi Sunak hasn’t a clue how to Stop the Boats or reduce record legal immigration, expect the following.
Suella Braverman to ratchet up the Enoch Powell rhetoric, dragging many backbench fruitcakes with her, including most of the 2019 Red Wall intake who fear they will be down the Jobcentre in a year if the Rwanda plan turns out to be the fantasy it clearly is.
Some Tories will defect to Reform, who will grow ever more confident of winning support in working-class areas, Farage will spy an opportunity to finally win a Westminster seat at the eighth time of trying, and head up that party going into the next election.
If the last one was all about Get Brexit Done, he will make the next one about Why Wasn’t Brexit Done? He will claim that 52% of Britons have been betrayed by Tories for not ripping up international law and sending the Navy to turn back the refugee dinghies.
His hideous Nazi-lite Breaking Point poster will be wheeled out again, Tories will be labelled traitors, Labour derided as the Woke Blob, and the campaign will be ugly, noxious and hate-filled as Reform pose as champions of persecuted white Britons. With their persecuted messiah at the helm. Leaving many of you to scream, far too late: “This is insanity, get me out of here.”