'Even I recognise myself chuckling at animated trolls might draw concern'

22 November 2023 , 23:04

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Linda Nolan took her eight-year-old great niece and nephew to the movies this week (Image: Dave Benett/Getty Images for Hearst)

So this week I finally saw Trolls Band Together. Not the family (haha), the movie. Don’t worry, I took the kids.

As much as I love a cartoon, even I recognise a 64-year-old Nolan, solo in a cinema clutching a bag of Maltesers and chuckling at animated trolls might draw a few looks of concern.

This was the pick of my eight-year-old great niece and nephew, Roma and Jacob. In fact, so keen were we, that we first showed up six weeks ago, only to be told the trolls hadn’t arrived yet (the kids looked at me like I’d finally lost it). So we saw something else.

The palaver continued, actually, because I got to the till laden with Pick ’n’ Mix, slushies and popcorn – and my Maltesers – only to find my cards had disappeared and I didn’t have enough cash to cover it. (They tried to take my Maltesers – not the Maltesers, I cried, and begged the kids to sacrifice some of their sugar instead).

We went straight in and watched the movie anyway. It’s funny when you’re ill, when you’ve got this sentence as it were, you don’t rush in a panic to do sensible stuff like cancel bank cards. It doesn’t seem to matter amid the bigger picture.

'The Tory end times should be more fun than this'

Anyway, the cards were later found tucked under the ticket machine so all was well and we lived to fight another troll, as it were.

Afterwards, we went to McDonald’s – Jacob’s choice. The bigger kids pick nice restaurants, so these pair are a cheap date (ish). And a wonderful one. Kids live in the moment, and that’s just where I want to be these days. They just make life seem normal, which is what I want it to be.

They know I’m ill, and they’ll pass me my stick and hold my hand when we walk.

But they’ll also joke about it. If I say, “I need a seat, I’ve got cancer”, they’ll simply shoot back, “Sit on the floor, then”.

No mercy.

I wonder where they learned that?

We had a great time – they’re brilliant kids, truly nice children.

Although after re–mortgaging following the provision of a full cinema picnic, the painful truth is they probably enjoyed their ride on my stairlift the most.

Linda Nolan