Amanda Abbington's cryptic depression post and dark thoughts after Martin split

24 October 2023 , 14:55

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The actors were together for 16 years (Image: Getty Images Europe)

Amanda Abbington has revealed why she has quit Strictly Come Dancing after missing her performance last weekend due to 'medical reasons'. Sharing an Instagram post with her followers, she admitted that the decision did not come 'lightly' and came down to 'personal reasons', while she thanked the Strictly team for their 'kindness'.

"It is with deepest regret that I had to leave Strictly. I did not come to this decision easily or lightly but for personal reasons I am unable to continue," she commented. No doubt she will be supported by her stuntman fiance Jonathan Goodwin, who was left paralysed from the waist down following a stunt going wrong on America's Got Talent.

Hours before Strictly announced Amanda's exit on Monday, the retired escapologist published a cryptic message on social media as he posed in front of a mirror wearing a black jumper and jeans. He captioned the selfie: "We can be so hard on ourselves... be our own worst critics... But before you judge yourself... make sure your mirror is clean."

Jonathan Goodwin proposed to Amanda in 2021 (Ken McKay/ITV/REX/Shutterstock)

Amanda has said she has quit Strictly due to 'personal reasons' (BBC/Ray Burmiston)

Amanda also shared a post about depression after it was announced that she would not be taking part in the live show. She took to Instagram Stories to share a quote from late actor Robin Williams, originally posted by an account called @positiveminds011. Across an image of the Mrs Doubtfire star, the quote reads: "People don't fake depression... they fake being okay. Remember that. Be kind."

Meanwhile, the Sherlock star has previously opened up about feeling suicidal after her split from actor Martin Freeman. Their off-screen relationship came to a heartbreaking end however the two BBC stars remained professional on set, and even tried to keep it a secret for six months.

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The couple first met in 2000 while working on the film Men Only and went on to star in several other projects together including The Debt, The Good Night, and The Robinsons. They had two children together and lived together in Hertfordshire, but their partnership ultimately came to an end in 2016 after 16 years.

The 49-year-old told The Sunday Times Magazine: "When we broke up nobody knew, we didn't tell anybody except for a few key people because they had to know, because of the logistics of hotels and stuff. It took six months for it to get out and a lot of that was while we were working on Sherlock... We were professional and we were going to get on and make a show and be civil to each other."

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Amanda was left heartbroken and depressed after their separation (Getty Images)

She added: "We still get on really well, we still really both admire each other as actors... he's a great guy, but we just couldn't live with each other anymore." The mum-of-two later spoke about the toll the break-up took on her mental health, telling the Full Disclosure podcast that she was a 'mess' and was left 'hating herself'. Things got so dark that she then contemplated ending it all.

"It was breaking up with Martin and then realising I needed to sort myself out because I was a bit of a mess. I hated myself," she explained. Amanda went on to recall how after the split she was left feeling like she'd let people down and her mantra soon became "You could always kill yourself". She continued: "That was a genuine option for me, quite a few times in my life. Then I don't have to be this bad person because I don't have to be here anymore."

Thankfully, her mental health improved after she received therapy and five years later, she became happily engaged to partner Jonathan. Whilst starring in Strictly, Amanda shared with fans that the glitzy show enabled her to "feel like a woman" after struggling with her self-confidence in the years since she turned 40. She also revealed that it has taught her to persevere no matter how old she is.

"I'm a woman of a certain age, so I'm hoping to inspire women my age to go out there and grab life with both hands," she told the Mail, "Because I think sometimes women my age kind of give up, and they just go, 'I'll settle now. I'll settle for this.' And actually, no, you have the potential to go and do anything. The sky's the limit. I hope I inspire women to go and do something they wouldn’t normally do."

Amanda also said that the show has reconnected with her womanhood after receiving so many flattering remarks from her fans, having previously felt 'invisible'. "It's nice to feel like a woman because like I say, when you hit a certain age, you become invisible," she said. "You do. You just do. And so for people to go, 'Wow, look at you.' And just in a really very complimentary way, it does boost your confidence. Who doesn’t want to be complimented?"

Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at [email protected]

Florence Freeman