Top tips for hosting inclusive events for disabled children and their families

23 October 2023 , 15:16

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Comedian and presenter Alex Brooker is promoting more inclusive social get-togethers (Image: McCain x Family Fund)

A charity supporting disabled or seriously ill children has shared some top tips on making social get-togethers more inclusive for these youngsters and their families – starting with not being afraid to invite them over for meet-ups.

Other advice includes not being afraid to ask a family about what adaptations their child may need, as well as letting them know in advance what will happen at the event, and what food will be available.

Talking to your own children, and informing them of another child's disability and needs, is also important, in order to raise awareness, and help disabled children and their families feel more included, and less embarrassed at get-togethers.

It comes as more than eight in ten families (83%) with a disabled or seriously ill child are often left feeling left out, sad, or frustrated – as just 12% feel they are able to take part in all the social activities they would like to.

And the survey of 1,202 families, who have been supported by the Family Fund charity in the last year, found that two-thirds (67%) have had to deal with friends or relatives being embarrassed to ask about any possible adaptations needed for their disabled child to be able to attend an event.

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However, 63% say that asking about their child's needs and preferences in advance would alleviate any need for concern ahead of a social occasion.

Grant-making charity, Family Fund, has partnered with McCain, which commissioned a separate survey of 2,000 adults, revealing that more than seven in ten (72%) feel more public awareness is needed – of what life is like for disabled people and their families.

Nearly a quarter of parents would be nervous about hosting a disabled child at a mealtime (Rawpixel/Getty Images)

Nearly two-thirds (64%) claim they have little or no understanding of what day-to-day life is like for these families – but 48% are keen to boost their own confidence when interacting with disabled people.

The study also found that, of the 56% who are not disabled themselves, or don't have a relative that is, 77% rarely or never interact with someone with a disability.

And as a result, 57% admit their unfamiliarity means they’re afraid of saying the wrong thing, or they feel self-conscious of their behaviour (44%).

One in five have jumped in to offer help they weren’t asked for, and 14% have made assumptions which may not be correct.

It also emerged that 17% have regretted how they’ve behaved around someone disabled – either in the way they have spoken, or by saying the wrong thing.

Of the 31% of parents polled, 74% would feel confident hosting a disabled child at their home for a playdate or an event. However, 23% would be nervous having them over for dinner – with 38% feeling they are not equipped to host a mealtime.

Following the study, McCain and Family Fund have collaborated with presenter and comedian, Alex Brooker, to promote more inclusive social occasions, and launch a specially-designed, limited-edition scoop bowl.

And nearly two-thirds reckon October half-term may be tough on the families of disabled children, as they may not get invited to social events (Monkey Business Images/Getty Images)

Mark Hodge, from McCain Foods UK&I, said: “Mealtimes are a crucial moment for friends and family to come together.

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“This new data offers an important insight into why families raising a disabled or seriously ill child can feel excluded from such social occasions, due to a lack of awareness of their child’s needs, or embarrassment to ask for support for these needs.

“We want to make everyday meals more inclusive for everyone – so we’re delighted to have created this specially-designed scoop bowl, to ensure that families can better enjoy mealtimes together.”

Alex Brooker added: “This bowl is something I wished I had growing up – it’s a great design, and I think it will really help children feel more independent at mealtimes, and give parents confidence to socialize more at social occasions.”

Nearly two-thirds (64%) of those polled, who don't often interact with disabled people, also suspected October half-term could be a difficult time for families raising a disabled or seriously ill child, as they could be less likely to be invited to social occasions by their friends.

Cheryl Ward, chief executive of Family Fund, said: “Families raising a disabled or seriously ill child experience many barriers to participating in activities and events, due to the daily routines and equipment children need, continuous high costs, and a lack of affordable inclusive opportunities.

“Creating inclusive mealtime moments in communities, and being aware of the challenges families face, can make a big difference to people’s lives – with Alex shining a spotlight on this. We are now providing even more essential mealtime grants to families who need them most.”

ADVICE FROM FAMILIES SUPPORTED BY FAMILY FUND ON MAKING SOCIAL GET-TOGETHERS MORE INCLUSIVE:

1. Don't be afraid to ask families with disabled or seriously ill children over for meet-ups. Think inclusive, wherever possible, so no-one is left out. Playdates can be just as important for parents, to reduce loneliness and isolation.
2. Don't worry about asking families questions about a child’s disability or condition, and any adaptations we need – including what foods kids will eat, as diets can be restrictive.
3. Talk with your kids about the fact that a disabled or seriously ill child might eat with their hands, need adaptions to eat, or eat different types of food. The greater the awareness in other children, the more it prevents families feeling embarrassed or stared at, at get-togethers.
4. Running through what will happen at get-togethers, and what food you’re planning, in advance with families, means they can prepare children, and don’t need to be embarrassed about asking questions whilst there.
5. Be aware of individual sensory needs, and think about the physical layout and safety of a party or playdate. Creating a quiet area or den, with low lighting and music, means children can take a break within social gatherings, or eat meals in a separate space.

Martin Winter