Simon Cowell's mental health struggles during Covid which led him to therapy

30 August 2023 , 19:30

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Simon Cowell's mental health struggles during Covid which led him to therapy

Sitting in the garden of his London mansion, Simon Cowell is a picture of serenity as a whirlwind of activity unfolds around him.

Son Eric is running about in an Arsenal shirt, fiancée Lauren is showing an estate agent around the house ahead of its impending sale, while a trio of his assistants tap away on laptops. It’s the morning after the Britain’s Got Talent final - a time when Simon would usually be wracked with nerves awaiting news of the overnight ratings.

But as he quietly nurses a cup of tea while his beloved dogs play by his feet, his mind is a million miles away from the day job. In fact, what we see before our eyes is a very different Simon altogether. A change, he ascribes, to discovering therapy for the first time - at the age of 63.

“When I see my friends, the first thing I talk about is how therapy has had this super positive effect on my life,” he says. “I wish I had done this 10 or 20 years ago...it’s like a weight has lifted off my shoulders.” Simon is so passionate about his new weekly therapy sessions that he immediately agreed to be the first guest on the Mirror’s brand-new Men in Mind podcast.

Simon Cowell has opened up about his mental health struggles which led him to therapy (Phil Harris)

Simon is the first guest on the Mirror's brand-new Men in Mind podcast (Trae Patton/NBCUniversal via Get)

The campaigning mini-series, in association with mental health charity Mind, will see some of the country’s biggest male stars open up about their mental health. Mind’s research found that a quarter of men said that feeling embarrassed was the main reason stopping them from seeking help.

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With one in eight men affected by mental health problems in any given year, the podcast’s aim is simple: to encourage more men to open up. It’s a cause close to Simon’s heart, as he wishes he had not left it so late in life to talk about his own feelings.

“If you’d said to me, ‘Simon, we’re going to be sitting down.. In your garden, talking about mental health,’ I’d be going, ‘Have I lost my mind or something’,” he says. “I’m not a doctor, I’m not an expert, but in my own way, I’ve started to understand it more and done things myself for my mental health in a positive way.

“Now I am happy to talk about it to encourage others too.” To understand why Simon reached out to a therapist, you need only rewind the clock back a few years to the beginning of the Covid pandemic. “I’ve suffered from depression over the years...but that was just something I just thought, ‘Well, that’s my character trait. I get down,’ and it’s something you deal with.

“And then I suppose COVID was the real catalyst.” Like many people during this time, his mental health deteriorated, and he describes being in a constant state of anxiety. “In the very, very, very early stages, some friends of mine got really ill and I’m talking about really ill,” he says.

”So, I thought, ‘God, if I catch this, maybe the same thing’s going to happen to me, Eric and Lauren.” Watching the news only made things worse, and he consulted endless doctors to try and work out how best to protect his family. “I didn’t know what was true or not, I just didn’t have a clue other than I was petrified about catching it. Just petrified.”

The businessman spent lockdown in Los Angeles with his fiancée Lauren and their son Eric but says Covid was the catalyst (Getty Images)

Simon has joined the Mirror's new Men in Mind podcast

Simon, Lauren and Eric stayed in Los Angeles for most of the year and Simon “didn’t see anybody” bar the occasional visitor who were tested before they were allowed to see him. “I’m just basically in my house, not going out and wearing masks all the time. I’m not exaggerating, I probably was tested about a thousand times.”

To make matters worse, Simon was agonising over Britain’s Got Talent and whether to go ahead with filming in the UK. In the end, the emergence of a new, more infectious variant saw him finally pull the plug. “I felt a lot of responsibility at that point...I just didn’t know what was the correct thing to do other than don’t chance it, don’t risk it,” he says.

In the end, Simon did catch Covid but thankfully suffered no ill effects. But as the world slowly returned to normal, he knew he couldn’t go on like that anymore and started reading up about ways to improve his mental health.

“As things started to calm down a bit and it was almost like now I’ve got to go from there back into the real world, how do I feel about that?,” he explains. “So, I started to read up about stuff, teach myself. Then fortunately I met some friends who had benefited from therapy. And that’s when I thought, ‘You know what? I’ve kind of looked after my body through diet, and exercise, pretty well over the years, but what have I done about my brain and my mind?’

“And the answer is nothing and now’s the time to do it. So, it was almost like my head going to the gym.” He remembers the pang of apprehension when he knocked on the therapist’s door and entered the room. “I made the appointment and I sat down, really embarrassed and I said, ‘Look, I just don’t know where to start’” he laughs.

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“But within about 20 minutes it was as if I’d known him for 10, 20 years. He put me so much at ease. And you realise you’re talking to a professional and they don’t judge you, they listen to you.” With the therapist’s help - and his own desire to learn - Simon was able to slowly work through his problems.

And the two men even managed to unpick Simon’s unhealthy obsession with chasing ratings. “He asked me ‘do you consider your best work to be the highest-rated thing you’ve ever done?” And I said, ‘No.’ And he said, ‘So why are you judging yourself on that?’”

Simon’s response to his team was almost instantaneous. “I sent an email saying, ‘That’s it. I don’t want to know about ratings anymore.’

“And it’s quite incredible because it now doesn’t feel like you’re chasing something. You’re just making something you like in the hope that other people like it as well. If they don’t, they don’t.” And as I sit opposite him - relaxed in his crisp, de rigeur white shirt unbuttoned dangerously low - it’s hard not to be taken in by how Simon appears more at peace with himself.

Before our podcast recording, he tells me how he has even stopped following the news, as well as ditching his phone altogether. Even the Phillip Schofield scandal blissfully passed him by. Now he hopes that by going public about his therapy will encourage other men to talk about their feelings more.

“There’s nothing to be fearful of and no one’s going to look at you or judge you differently,” he says. “I think particularly men, as a kid especially, it was always, ‘don’t cry…be a man. But it’s nothing to be ashamed of and it’s healthy to almost go the other way.

“We’re not all made of steel and there’s going to be times in our lives where you just need somebody to talk to.” And as for those BGT ratings, don’t tell Simon…but 6 million viewers wasn’t too shabby after all.

Find us on Apple podcasts, or go to podfollow.com/meninmind. For further support and advice around mental health see mind.org.uk

Tom Bryant