Bridesmaid rages as she's expected to pay almost £1k for mate's hen do holiday

23 February 2023 , 17:15

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The bridesmaid is refusing to spend £1,000 on a holiday hen do (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images/Tetra images RF)

If you've been given the role of maid of honour at your mate's wedding, then planning her hen do should be one of your top priorities - as it's traditionally your job to make sure there's something fun in store for the bride-to-be and the rest of her bridal party on the special night.

But one bridesmaid has been left fuming at the plans that have been put in place for her friend's hen night, as it's become a hugely expensive trip abroad that could cost each attendee between £600 and £1,000.

The woman explained the bride doesn't have a maid of honour and has instead asked each of her bridesmaids to help plan the party together in order to come up with something the whole group will enjoy.

She wants to have a locally based party (stock photo) (Getty Images)

However, the bridesmaid claims that two other members of the bridal party have completely taken over and are demanding a four-day trip in a "fancy location", even though it's going to prove way too expensive for the woman and another one of the bridesmaids, named Rachel.

The woman said she and Rachel had offered alternative options that were closer to home but had been shut down every time, with the two bridesmaids in charge - named only as Z and S - insisting that the party should be "about the bride" and that money shouldn't be an obstacle.

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In a post on Reddit, the woman fumed: "I am a bridesmaid for my friend's wedding. She said she wasn't doing a MOH [maid of honour] and all BMs [bridesmaids] need to plan things together.

"First of all, myself and another BM (Rachel) were not put in the group chat. I ended up having to keep asking the bride for other girls' numbers to make a chat.

"In the chat, 2 other BMs (Z&S) started saying they wanted to go abroad for the party. I told them that that is completely out of my budget because they were looking at a four-day trip in a fancy location with expensive activities. Rachel and I had found some really cool UK-based stuff for a weekend and suggested that but they just said no.

"I commented on how people have kids too and this is just really unattainable for all of the people who the bride wants to attend. They kept saying 'I'm sure you can work it out, sweetie. It's not that much. This is about the bride. Not you.' I feel like they have no grasp on the reality of people's situations right now. £600 - £1,000 is a lot.

"Then they decided to book the trip on Rachel's 30th birthday. Rachel is obviously upset but Z and S keep saying she's selfish because you only get one wedding and we're making it about us and not the bride again. Rachel doesn't wanna spend her 30th on a trip she can barely afford with people we don't really like and I agree so, I said we wouldn't be coming."

The bridesmaid decided to phone the bride to tell her what was happening, and rather than being supportive of her financial situation, the bride slammed her for being unable to "be the bigger person" for the sake of her wedding.

She added: "I called the bride upset and told her that we can't afford what's being planned and it's on Rachel's birthday. Z and S won't compromise so we can't come. She just said 'Okay. Shame you can't be the bigger person for my wedding but whatever'.

"It's not like I'm missing the wedding and we have tried to give other suggestions. We've even thought about planning a cheaper version for people who can't afford it, but am I being petty here? The bride is clearly annoyed. Should I be the bigger person and suck it up?"

Commenters were fully on the bridesmaid's side though, with many saying she shouldn't be forced to be out of pocket for a trip she doesn't want to go on, just because her friend's getting married.

One person said: "If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. I don't understand these brides that think everyone should prioritise their weddings over their own family. You are not being petty at all."

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As another wrote: "Getting married doesn't entitle someone to dictate what someone else can or cannot afford! Yes, it's about the bride but it's also about what works for the entire bridal party, not just a select few! I'd drop out of the wedding personally if this is the bride’s attitude about this."

Zahna Eklund