Dad, 43, dies suddenly after heartbroken wife moves from Trinidad to be with him
A "devastated" wife has told how a dad suddenly died with the two finally together after a long distance relationship.
Julian James, 43, tragically died on July 6, after suffering a bleed on the brain and a stroke. He was a "strong-willed and loving father, who would do anything for his family," said his wife Pepsi Monderoy-James.
The two had settled down in Walthamstow, north-east London, two and half years ago, having had a long distance relationship for many years. They had three children Osiris, five, and April, two, while Julian's older son Nature, 21, also lived with them.
Julian and Pepsi both grew up in Trinidad before Julian, who was born in the UK, moved back here when he was a teenager. After meeting around 13 years ago their friendship developed into a romance.
Julian and Pepsi were living together after a long distance relationship (Pepsi Monderoy-James)Pepsi recalled: "We were long distance for a very, very long time. I lived in Trinidad and he was living here so we had a friendship at first. It was a strange friendship in that we'd see each other once a year when he came home for carnival and when he was home, my friends would know 'okay Julian's in the country, we're not gonna be able to get in contact with Pepsi'.
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"But that's how it was for a long time, when he wasn't home we'd be on the phone every day without fail, and even though we were in other relationships at times we were always very close. Then that closeness became a relationship when things fell into place and we were both single at the right time."
It was while Pepsi was pregnant with the couple's second child and still living in Trinidad that Covid hit and she moved to the UK, MyLondon reported. Pepsi continued: "The borders were closing and we didn't know when they would open again so I left everything, my job, my car, my apartment.
Julian suffered a stroke (Pepsi Monderoy-James)"It was a huge deal but I was willing to do it for our relationship and everything we stood for as a couple. None of it was as important as us just being together." The family set up their home in Walthamstow, Julian's older son Nature also joined them after his mother sadly died.
Pepsi said: "It felt like it was finally our time, after Julian losing his mum, us being separated, getting his son back, our son and having the new baby, Covid, all of these big life things felt like they were behind us, we were going to be a family. But we didn't have enough time.
"Almost my entire adult life he's been there, the better part of 13 years, he was truly my everything, this wasn't the plan and It's been truly, truly devastating. I don't know what I'm going to do, I don't know what my life looks like without him."
Remembering what Julian was like to be around Pepsi continued: "He was very strong-willed with very solid beliefs and values and was so loving towards his kids. He was the disciplinarian in the house but would always joke about being 'too old' for the younger two with there being such a big age gap to his older son."
She added: "Our son Osiris has autism so we recognised pretty early on he was a little behind in his development and speech, and that was something Julian really struggled with. But he put so much effort in and strived to learn about the disorder and how to work with him and best support him.
"April was his first daughter or 'girl child' as we say back home, so she was really the apple of his eye, you know how daddies are with their daughters. He loved her so much and they were really close.
"Because of how he worked he was often on shift when they got home from school so she would run up to the security camera in the living room and press the call button connected to the app on his phone. He would answer and say 'Yes April?' and she'd always say 'daddy I want strawberry ice cream' He worked at Tesco so she knew he had access to it."
Having grown up in Trinidad, Julian was also a huge lover of carnival and Trinidadian culture and threw himself into the UK carnival scene. "He was a frequent masquerader and partygoer, was heavily involved in the cuisine, he was a true, true ambassador for the culture." Pepsi added.
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Following Julian's death the family are now looking to raise funds for his funeral and the impact the loss of his income is set to have on them. Speaking about the help they've received, she continued: "He meant the world to me and it's been amazing to see the level of support from people who don't even know me.
"I'm fairly new to the country, I've only been here for two and a half years, I don't have family here. He was an only child and his mum died so he doesn't really have family here. It was just us and the kids. But now he's gone, to see how other people have stepped up, from my workplace just to people on the street it has been so overwhelming and I'm really thankful for that."
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