Two couples get divorced to create foursome union in polyamorous relationship
Two married couples have divorced to form a polyamorous union together.
Growing up, Rachel Wright found dating a challenge and often felt confused about entering into a committed relationship, which she wanted, but also had a desire to explore other people, romantically and sexually.
The 34-year-old assumed there was something “wrong” with her, but put her doubts to the back of her mind – especially when sparks started to fly with Kyle, who she met they worked at the same restaurant.
While on their first date, the pair discussed non-monogamy, but decided to stay monogamous until they were ready to open up their relationship and they tied the knot in October 2016.
Three years later, their desire to open up the marriage became overwhelming and soon, they met Yair Lenchner and Ashley Giddens, both aged 36 – with the foursome eventually getting respective divorces to make one union.
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Ashley and Yair joined the others in the relationship (Jam Press)
Now they are just a throuple (Jam Press)“Our lawyer was the one who brought this idea up actually – and it was great,” the licensed marriage therapist said. “For me, non-monogamy isn't an attitude, but an orientation. Some people experience non-monogamy as a choice and others, as the latter.
“Kyle and I, who were together for about 11 years, had been practising non-monogamy for a little over a year-and-a-half when we met Yair and Ashley. I had no intention of merging lives and families, or creating a life together, but that’s what was naturally there between us. We all leaned into it.
“Before, I felt confused, as I knew for a long time that I was wired this way. Myself and Kyle had discussed our hesitation around [being with one person], so we checked back in repeatedly until it was time to pull the trigger and try it out.”
Rachel learned about polyamory while at university, where she discovered that the orientation “resonated” with her on a deep level.
She said: “I remember thinking: ‘is that me?’ and it made me realise how I’d been viewing my relationships. Kyle and I started reading more books about it, listening to podcasts and using the dating app, Feeld. We communicated so much and I cannot begin to express the amount of additional communication and self-reflection, as well as awareness, that’s required for this to work in a healthy way.”
Rachel, Yair and Kyle when they joined their unions together (Jam Press)In March 2020, the two respective couples started exchanging messages – with Rachel claiming the connection was “palpable.”
The 34-year-old, from New York, US, said: “We all fit together as though we had been friends for decades. We couldn't stop talking, texting and spending time together. It was a really unique experience that laid a foundation for what we have now.
“None of us were looking for life partners, but that’s what we had found. After we all fell in love, the label of ‘polyamorus’ stuck.”
Ashley and Yair, who had been in an open relationship since meeting, began seeing the couple for dates, such at their homes or in restaurants.
While they shared sexual and emotional intimacy all together, Yair and Kyle didn’t get romantically involved – but still spent quality time with one another.
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In November 2021, the foursome moved in under one roof, where they created a rotation for sleeping partners, date nights and general responsibilities. However, at the beginning of this year, Kyle left the relationship, which was a group decision.
Their matching tattoos (Jam Press)
The foursome together before Kyle left (Jam Press)Rachel, Yair and Ashley, who now have formed a throuple, are dealing with the emotions while still being excited about the future ahead – including getting married and having kids.
She added: “There is a city where the three of us can get in a domestic partnership, so we’d love to do that.
“If we can, Ashley and I both want to carry one baby, with Yair biologically fathering the kids. I’m still working through the emotions of Kyle leaving. While it’s the right decision for all of us, it’s incredibly hard – I love him a lot.
“He is a very special person and I will always love him – we were best friends and partners. Our families have been incredibly supportive around our relationship and breakup, even with things they didn’t fully understand.
“There was certainly an adjustment period with non-monogamy, but they have been truly welcoming, loving and have made each of us part of the family. Random strangers do comment on stuff, but people often hate things they don’t want to understand or that scares them.
“It’s sometimes hard to read, but I’ve grown a thicker skin – I know who I am and how special my relationship is, so I don’t need to hear other people’s opinions. My advice is to take a workshop, read books and follow people like me or other non-monogamous people.
“It’s really helpful to learn about where the [concept] came from, it’s a very valid relationship design and it’s perfect for some. Monogamy isn't the only option for true love.”
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