Mothers of Claudia Lawrence and Helen McCourt issue plea for missing daughters
The mothers of Helen McCourt and Claudia Lawrence tell how their dearest wish is for their missing daughters to be found as they mark their 80th birthdays together in their shared grief.
Marie McCourt and Joan Lawrence have become close friends over the years of heartache since their beloved children were cruelly snatched from them. Now they are providing each other with strength and courage as they reach yet another milestone without knowing what happened to the young women.
Both say: “I just need to know what happened to my daughter before I die.” But Marie adds: “With each birthday that passes it’s looking more unlikely.“ She adds: “It gets harder with every birthday that passes. All I can do is keep hoping, praying and searching.”
This is Marie’s 35th year without Helen, who disappeared aged 22 on her way home from her job as an insurance clerk in St Helens, Merseyside, in February 1988. Local pub landlord Ian Simms was jailed for life in 1989 for her murder, on the grounds of overwhelming forensic evidence. Despite never revealing where he had hidden Helen’s body he was set free in 2020, and died last year aged 66, taking the secret to his grave.
Joan has had 14 years of agony since chef Claudia failed to arrive for work at the University of York aged 35 in March 2009. Despite numerous searches, a cold case review and several arrests, North Yorkshire police have yet to solve the case.
Nicola Bulley's children 'cried their eyes out' after being told 'mummy's lost'Marie, whose birthday was last month, said: “Most 80-year-olds are celebrating a lifetime of happy memories. Yet Joan and I carry this heartache – this desperate need to know what has happened to our girls. Until then, we will never get closure. My family threw a party for me at the church hall, which was lovely – but all I could think was, ‘Helen should be here’.”
Joan from Malton, North Yorks, had her birthday on Tuesday with daughter Ali and her family, and with friends. She tells how important Marie’s friendship has been as they support each other through life’s milestones without their precious girls.
Joan says: “Having a friend like Marie to talk to, who completely understands what I’m going through, is so important and has helped me so much. We’ve both had to cope with something no parent should ever have to suffer. Neither of us have our daughters or know where they are. It’s an indescribable pain we both share, but we can talk about Claudia and Helen without having to explain how awful that agony is.”
Claudia’s dad Peter died in February 2021, never knowing what had happened to his daughter. And Marie, of Billinge, Merseyside, is acutely aware that time may well be running out for her to find Helen. She and Joan both dread following in the footsteps of Winnie Johnson, mum of missing Moors Murder victim Keith Bennett, who died never knowing what had become of her son’s remains.
Marie says: “I was heartbroken when she died at the age of 79, still not knowing where her son had been hidden by Ian Brady and Myra Hindley. I’ve been tortured at the thought of the same thing happening. All I’ve ever wanted is for Helen to be brought home and laid to rest where she belongs.
“I never, in my worst nightmares, imagined that 35 years on from that original stormy night I’d still be asking myself every minute of every day, ‘Where are you, Helen? Where did he hide you?’” Joan agrees: “I need answers. I don’t know how I’ve got to 80 with my sanity intact.
“When I look back, particularly at the first five years, there are times you think, ‘I can’t go on any longer’. But somebody’s always looking down on you. Something always happens to pull you up. You have to live just one day at a time.”
Brave Marie spent years campaigning for Helen’s Law in her daughter’s honour. The law, under which murderers and paedophiles who refuse to disclose information about their victims can expect to stay longer behind bars, received royal assent in November 2020. Unfortunately it came too late to prevent the release of Simms.
However, three applications for parole by killers whose victims’ whereabouts remain unknown have been turned down since it was implemented, and Marie has been awarded an MBE in recognition of her work. Sitting together in the sunshine, holding photographs of their much-missed daughters, the two grieving mothers talk wistfully about how different their lives would be now if their daughters were still with them.
Joan says: “I had a big party for my 60th, but that was different – Claudia was there. If she was here, she’d have arranged a party. Claudia loved being around her family and liked to celebrate with the people she loved. She’s lost two godmothers while she’s been missing. I wonder if she knows.”
Mum appeared 'completely normal' moments before vanishing while walking dogMarie’s last happy milestone birthday was her 40th – celebrated with a meal out with Helen, son Michael and late mum Sarah. She says: “If Helen was still here, she’d have cooked a nice meal for us all to celebrate. The kitchen would have been a disaster zone, but it would have been lovely.
“Helen disappearing seems like yesterday. Her favourite knitted doll, Emma Kate, is still on her bed. She’d be 58 now, a mother herself – maybe even a grandmother. But I don’t even have a grave to tend or lay flowers on. On her birthday last week I arranged two little bouquets around her marble memorial seat in our local churchyard which bears her photograph and epitaph. That’s all I have.”
Joan agrees: “You’re in permanent limbo. You can’t grieve, you can’t buy Christmas or birthday presents. I keep going over and over it in my head to see if there is anything I’ve missed. Those first days and weeks still haunt me. I don’t think I will ever recover from the shock of first hearing Claudia was missing on Mothering Sunday in 2009.
“It should have been a time of celebration, but I was dealt the worse possible news. And now, every year Mother’s Day is always bittersweet. I have two daughters but there’s always an empty place where Claudia should be, which is utterly heartbreaking.”
Both women agree their strong faith has kept them going. Marie says: “I remind myself that the good people will always outnumber the bad. I could cry with gratitude when I think of how coach loads of people came from all over the country to search for Helen when she first went missing.
“They didn’t know me and they didn’t know Helen – but they wanted to help. I still light a candle and pray a novena to St Martha every Tuesday evening to commemorate the night Helen went missing and pray she will be found.”
Former mayor Joan adds: “I’m fortunate in many ways that I can go to church and find some peace, but also hope. John Sentamu, the former Archbishop of York, has always been very kind to me and offered ongoing support. Faith kept me going through the toughest of times. I still light a candle for Claudia every day.”
Describing the mums’ friendship, Joan says: “We are in a unique situation where there is just no closure. We gain comfort from knowing that there is someone else who understands what we’re going through.”
The two women first met after Joan sent Marie a letter on one of the anniversaries of Helen’s disappearance. Joan says: “That was the start of our friendship. It’s been wonderful to meet up with Marie and her husband, John. Their kindness and support have helped me through the toughest of times. I know I can pick up a phone at any time and talk to Marie and she will listen. And of course, that gesture is always reciprocated.”
Marie adds: “Our friendship brings me so much comfort. Our conversations help me. You don’t ever want anyone else to suffer the pain we have endured, but being able to talk to someone who completely understands is so nice.”
As they both enter their ninth decade, the thing they want more than anything is closure. Joan says: “I never thought I’d reach my 80th birthday and still not know what’s happened to Claudia. It’s the cruellest of pains. All I want is answers and to know what’s happened to my daughter. Having Claudia home would be the best birthday present I could wish for.”
Marie agrees: “Joan and I just need our girls home, where they belong. That’s all we ask.”