'Five ways your partner is guaranteed to annoy you in bed'
Human beings are unique. Like fingerprints and snowflakes – no, not that kind – each is utterly different; quirky, unpredictable, individual. And yet, it turns out we all argue about exactly the same things.
The top five causes of disagreements between couples in the bedroom has been revealed after a survey of UK adults for SleepyPeople.com, and let’s just say, they do not ring entirely unfamiliar.
Stealing the sheets
This is a polite way of saying duvet hogger, and we all know one, and it definitely isn’t us. In Scandinavian and Nordic countries it’s standard practice for people sharing a bed to have separate sheets and duvets. Such a good idea… which would probably backfire here because I bet the hoggers would see it as a challenge. You know what they’re like.
Temperature in the bedroom
Temperature generally is such a hot button (intended) issue for couples it’s definitely what ‘irreconcilable differences’ is code for on divorce papers. Obviously the colder party in bed should wrap themselves up snug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug style, and if this were a perfect world that same party would be the duvet hogger of the pair so it all works out perfectly. But it isn’t so it doesn’t, hence this being number two, in both senses.
Taking your partner’s space in bed
One day I will make my fortune with invention The Bed-lin Wall – a solid division that goes down the middle of the mattress, to keep people on the sides they’re meant to be on. Anyone attempting to cross without the correct papers would be dealt with even more harshly than they were with its namesake. Patent pending.
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Having pets in bed
Most disputes are complicated and cannot be solved easily or quickly. This is the exception to the rule. If it’s a cat – amazing, highly recommended. Dog – ugh, that’s completely unacceptable behaviour.
What to watch on TV
The space that crosses over on the Venn diagram of what each person in a couple likes watching has become incrementally smaller the bigger the choice of available programmes becomes. At this point, in my house, we’re down to Gogglebox and Traitors, and we don’t even know when the next series of Traitors is, which leaves us happily co-watching for an hour a week.
The rest of the time either one of us is viewing through gritted eyes, or we admit defeat and retire to our separate screens. In olden days, this would mean one person moving to another room, to watch on a smaller second telly. Now, thanks to smartphones and ear buds, there’s no need to go anywhere. Spending evenings separately must surely have had a detrimental effect on relationships long term, so how wonderful that modern technology means you can completely ignore each other in the same room.
Swoon!
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