'A stranger saved my life by starting a chat - I wouldn't be here without her'

21 February 2023 , 12:10

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Francesca was alone in public and clearly upset when a kind woman approached her (Image: Francesca Williams)

A simple question like 'do you know the time?' or 'are you okay?' could be all it takes to save someone's life. When Francesca Williams, 22, from London, was at her lowest point, a kind-hearted woman asked how she was doing - and it was enough to interrupt her suicidal thoughts.

As Samaritans launches the Small Talk Saves Lives campaign, Francesca is sharing her enormous gratitude to the stranger who stopped her from taking her own life. The campaign, in partnership with Network Rail and British Transport Police, aims to empower the public to act to prevent suicide on the railway and other public settings.

The unknown stranger helped Francesca realise that other people really do care (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Writing for the Mirror, Francesca recalls the moment her life was saved by the woman who made small talk...

If it wasn't for a very kind stranger, there's a good chance I wouldn't be here, today, writing this article.

I have struggled on and off with my mental health and self-harm for a while, but in September 2018, my mood had dropped and I fell into a deep depression. I couldn't see a way out.

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It got to the point where I was in a dark place and was having suicidal thoughts. I'd had enough.

I was out in public, on my own, and clearly upset. Thankfully, a lovely woman came up to me. Even though she didn't know me, she sat next to me, and asked how I was. She could tell I didn't look alright.

She said she had a friend who also self-harmed and was in recovery. The conversation started from there. She listened to me and made me feel heard.

She even offered to take me to the local hospital to get mental health support. I realised that people do care.

Eventually I decided to go back to where I lived, instead of choosing to end my life. If it wasn't for her, I probably would have acted on my thoughts.

I'm forever grateful. It's amazing how just a small conversation can be all it takes to distract people if they're having dark thoughts.

I didn't get her name or any way to contact her to thank her – I wish I could, she saved my life.

I do think of her from time to time and hope she's happy. On the off chance she's reading this article – thank you, thank you – thank you!

I remember her saying that things get better. I couldn't see it for myself at the time, but now I do. While I still have good days and bad days, recovery is possible.

Francesca is now attending therapy and has career goals and personal plans for the future (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

I am in therapy and I'm finally getting the treatment I need. I do some sports activities to keep me busy. I'm looking at going to college at some point too.

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I have my two closest friends who I consider my sisters. I met them in a hospital eight years ago. Our friendship is still going strong, and we are always there for each other.

One day, I would love to go skydiving or bungee jumping. I am looking at getting a dog at some point too. I'm interested in veterinary work and want to work with animals in the future.

Very sadly, I lost a friend to suicide the year before my intervention. We met in hospital years ago; she was lovely and supportive.

It affected me and others around me who knew her. It made me wonder what, if anything, I could've done differently to help her. It was a shock for everyone.

This, and my own experiences, have made me determined to do what I can to help people who are currently struggling.

I hope by sharing my experiences, it helps let people know that there are people that care. Even reaching one person who's in a similar situation to how I was feeling would be amazing.

I'm so delighted and proud to be involved with Samaritans' Small Talk Saves Lives campaign. It's so important people know that a simple chat can save a life, and help someone on the road to recovery.

Everyone has what it takes to make a life-saving difference. All you need are simple, everyday phrases like, 'are you OK?', 'nice weather today, isn't it?' or 'do you know where I can get a coffee?'

In everyday life, you don't have to feel heroic to be someone's hero. We're not in a Hollywood blockbuster!

Just a simple smile and opening a small conversation, such as asking how they are and if they are okay, can make all the difference.

Next time you're out and about, please take an extra moment to really notice those around you.

On behalf of the person you might help, and to pay my gratitude to the woman who saved me forward – thank you.

Samaritans has launched a campaign to encourage the public to make small talk with people in need (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

What to do if you see someone who needs help

• Suicidal thoughts are often temporary, so a little small talk or a simple question like 'Hi, where can I get a coffee?' can be all it takes to interrupt someone's suicidal thoughts and could help set them on the journey to recovery.

• When you've started a conversation, listen to what they've said and repeat it back to them to make them feel listened to.

• Encourage them to sit down somewhere safe and quiet.

• Ask the person if there’s someone you can call for them. You could mention sources of help, including Samaritans and their GP, as well as friends and family.

• You don't have to manage this alone. If you don't feel comfortable speaking to the person yourself, let a member of staff know or call 999.

• It's normal to feel anxious about starting a conversation. You might worry about saying the wrong thing or think someone else will step in and help – but there is no evidence that it will make the situation worse.

• By simply being there and showing you are, you can make a difference.

Nia Dalton