'My Barbados getaway came with superb sushi, fab beaches and spooky tunnels'
As battles go, it was a particularly English affair. It rained relentlessly for three days, the gunpowder for muskets and cannons was damp, so everyone gave up with barely a shot fired and went to the pub.
Drenched officers from both sides settled down in Ye Mermaid’s Inn to sort out their differences over a few ales, eventually coming up with an acceptable compromise. This was Barbados in early January 1652 and I am on a tour of the military Garrison with eminent local historian and researcher Peter Stevens.
It’s part of a larger UNESCO world heritage site and my excursion was from the Sandals Royal Barbados resort, which cosies up to the adjacent Sandals Barbados property at St Lawrence Gap, on the southwest coast, just a 15-minute airport transfer.
Whichever five-star all-inclusive you stay at, you can use all of the amenities at the other – though until you have your bearings in the lush gardens, you might not be quite sure which one you are in.
Twin peaks
The hotels: If you just want to chill out in luxury with fine food and drink, stellar facilities (there’s even a ten-pin bowling alley), night-time entertainment and a glorious beach, then you are in the right place with these joined-at-the-hip resorts. My Club Level ground-floor room offered supreme comfort and space, a giant tub, plus a first-time experience in the form of a swim-up terrace. A dip in the Crystal Lagoon before breakfast? What a way to start your day!
'I stayed in a Tenerife hotel that's definitely for stress-free family holidays'There are numerous pools, including one with a glass infinity wall facing the beach. It’s quite lively with a DJ, but there are quiet options if you prefer to chill out poolside with a book rather than banging tunes.
Beach-lovers can choose from loungers in direct sun, with large canopies, or dotted around among palm trees, with dappled shade. Bars with waiter service are nearby and an array of free watersports includes sailing, kayaking and stand-up/fall-down paddleboarding.
Between the two sites – 280-room Barbados opened in 2015, 338-room Royal two years later – you have 21 places to eat and getting round them all in a week is an enjoyable challenge. I failed, but it was a noble attempt.
The food: Eggs Benedict for breakfast at Italian Portofino’s was perfect. I went back. A tip of the sunhat also to Greenhouse for contemporary farm-to-fork offerings including hipster heaven avocado on toast. Next door, Heart & Sol is your smoothie saviour.
Lunches gravitated towards the beach area, with Mediterranean-themed Neptune’s conjuring up a chicken Caesar salad that merited two return visits, and the casual alfresco Mariner Seaside Bar and Grill serving burgers, quesadillasand wraps, with pizzas at adjacent Dino’s. (Friendly warning: Aunt May’s Bajan Pepper Sauce at Mariner is as feisty as the metal-melting blood in Alien.)
And so to dinner – the Sole à la Meunière at La Parisienne and Chef’s Surf and Turf at Butch’s Steak and Seafood were really good, the Chicken Dhaba curry at Bombay Club and the flaming, food-juggling teppanyaki at Kimono’s were really, really good, but the "accidental" sushi at Soy stole the show.
A booking mix-up meant I was looking for a restaurant table at peak time and Soy slotted me in.
Unsure about what seemed a "fishy" menu and not so keen on strong fish flavours, friendly guidance from the servers provided a superb choice with lighter seafood tastes and vegetable options, with a wasabi that could power the Nostromo.
The all-inclusive drinks: There’s a wide selection of branded soft and alcoholic beverages with an array of cocktails from a simple old fashioned or a traditional rum punch to the fancier mixology specials. House wines are decent and if you just want an ice cold, refreshing local Banks lager, that’s on tap.
Massage to the people
The Red Lane spa is a luxurious place to be pampered; I chose a Hawaiian salt stone massage purely because the name was intriguing. Akeila gently massagedme with hot stones and I zoned out.
Amazing places to see in Lisbon including the awe-inspiring Castelo de Sao JorgeThe creaking noises I heard were not the wooden table legs as I initially thought, but my knotty back unravelling.
Club class
Club Level rooms come with the brilliant Club Sandals Concierge, which is like having a team of friendly, super-helpful human Alexas who assist with anything from check-in and out, dining bookings, resort tours (a godsend for the newly arrived/newly lost), spa bookings and room service.
They also organise regular Club guest cocktail parties, wine and Martini tastings and a snorkelling trip. Every holiday should have a Club Concierge.
Tripping out
Army barmy: In the mid-17th century, when the English began sauntering around the world borrowing other people’s countries, Barbados was becoming a colonial powerhouse thanks to its key position in the West Indies and a huge, safe anchorage.
However, as I discovered at the Garrison with the affable Bajan Wiki-history that is Peter Stevens, it was not without teething troubles as Oliver Cromwell’s republican regime objected to Barbados effectively remaining royalist and trading with the rival Dutch. A naval fleet was despatched to deal with the upstarts.
Unfortunately for the fleet, the upstarts were greater in number, well organised and well armed.
Nature’s three-day deluge thankfully prevented large scale bloodshed, and common sense prevailed with that meeting at Ye Mermaid’s Inn in Oistins to thrash out a deal where the island pledged allegiance to Cromwell’s de-kinged Commonwealth in exchange for self-rule and trading rights.
The key phrase in the agreement was perhaps "no taxation without representation". Could this have been a revolutionary seed sown in the mind of one George Washington when he visited the island as a young man with his elder brother Lawrence in 1751?
Of course we’ll never know, but the fascinating Garrison tour also takes in the large house they rented, two coastal forts and, the best bit, a walk through a section of the 200-year-old Garrison Tunnels.
They were discovered accidentally in 2011 and were believed to be partly a vast network of storm drains to counter flooding of the parade ground (now the renowned, historic Savannah racecourse) and partly a secret escape route for the military if, say, the French or Dutch invaded. Either way, fascinating and slightly spooky. By the entrance is a nice cafe in the Washington house's old stables.
I was lucky enough to go into the Barbados National Armoury to see its collection of 16th and 17th-century cannons, including one embossed with a flag from the Cromwell era, of which there are only two in the world. You certainly would not want to drop it on your foot.
E-bike ride: Guide Roger from E-bike Island Adventures said the tour of hilly eastern Barbados would be "'the most expensive excursion you’ll ever go on'". Why so? "'Because you’ll want to buy a $3,000 e-bike when you get home!'"
He’s not far wrong. It’s a fun and informative trip, e-bikes are great to ride, making hills a breeze, and Santa had better be popping one down the chimney this year.
Snorkelling tour: Complimentary with Club rooms, as is scuba. It’s well worth booking a boat trip from Bridgetown to see hundreds of colourful fish by the shipwrecks in Carlisle Bay and, with luck, a hawksbill turtle or two swimming by you.
Fry-day
A short cab ride takes you to the legendary Friday night fish fry and live music at Oistins where an exuberant crowd tucks in to tuna, swordfish, marlin, mahi-mahi and flying fish from numerous stalls. A must.
Damp good
It only rained once during the week so, inspired by those 17th-century soldiers, I sheltered in a poolside bar with a Banks beer.
Having finished it, it was still raining a little, so I came up with an acceptable compromise with myself and had another. Thank you, Mr Cromwell.
Book the holiday
Sandals offers seven nights on all-inclusive at the Sandals Royal Barbados resort, staying in a South Seas Swim-up Club Level Ultra Suite with Patio Tranquility Soaking Tub, from £2,755 per person with Virgin Atlantic flights from Heathrow on September 12, 2024, transfers and Club Sandals Concierge Service. sandals.co.uk
- Island Routes’ Garrison Historical Sightseeing Tour starts from £70 per person; Electric Bike Bajan Sightseeing Experience from £124 per person. Book in resort or at islandroutes.com
More info: visitbarbados.org