'We took gap years later in life - it's been the best thing we've ever done'
Gap years are no longer the preserve of teenagers. More and more of us are taking the chance to travel for an extended period in mid and later life, especially if we didn’t have the chance to do so before going to university, starting work or having a family.
Dubbed a “golden gap year”, women aged in their forties, fifties and beyond are taking a career break, shaking off the shackles of responsibility and even selling up to travel in the style their budget now allows.
A poll by Norwegian Cruise Line found that a fifth of people aged 60 and over are planning to take a longer trip of a lifetime.
We speak to three intrepid travellers who tell us how taking their midlife gap years changed them for the better.
Mangala Holland on the beach in Thailand
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Mangala Holland, 50, who lives in Glastonbury, Somerset, took a gap year at 38 after suffering corporate burnout.
I’d never heard of a gap year until I went to university. Coming from a working-class family in Cornwall, people I knew didn’t have the money or means to head off travelling at 18. It was something ‘other people’ did.
Once I graduated and stepped onto the corporate ladder, my life was a treadmill of work and responsibility, punctuated with techno DJing a couple of times a week. It was go-go-go and I was having
lots of fun, but as time passed, I became disillusioned and worn out.
Then in 2008, I got the chance to travel to Malawi for two weeks to DJ at a festival. The furthest I’d gone before was on package holidays to Europe. The trip blew my mind. “There’s a whole world out there and I’ve barely seen it,” I thought. Yes, I was earning lots of money and had a good career doing IT training for stockbrokers. But I was unfulfilled – and as I was single and renting in Manchester, I had no ties to hold me back. The only thing stopping me was me.
“In 12 months, I’m going to take a gap year,” I told bemused family and friends, most of whom were at a very different stage in life. Their overriding reaction was, “You’re so brave – I can’t believe you’re going on your own.”
Mangala travelled to India, and says she's glad she visited in later lifeI decided to start with six months in India, three in south-east Asia and then left the last three free to decide nearer the time. I bought my plane ticket, sold most of my possessions except for my records, and took a sabbatical from my job.
New zest for life
On 1 October 2009, I headed to Delhi, full of excitement and nerves. Within two weeks, I knew I wasn’t ever going to step back onto my old treadmill again. I watched the Dalai Lama give a talk, which was such a profound experience. I met so many incredible people who opened my eyes. Some have become my firm friends although I’ll admit many backpackers I crossed paths with were 20 years younger and mostly interested in partying!
I’m glad I didn’t do a gap year at their age as I would not have fully appreciated the opportunity. Plus by not wasting my budget on beer, I could travel further.
It gave me the chance to figure out what was next. I volunteered with Tibetan refugees and trained as a yoga teacher. In fact, my gap year lasted 12 years in the end. I spent five of those in Thailand before relocating to Melbourne, Australia, where I launched a successful online business – women’s empowerment and sexuality coaching – a world away from my old career.
I finally landed back in the UK in 2020. My parents are getting older and I felt a pull to go ‘home’ as my menopause loomed. But I’ve
not come back as the same person and returning has also been an adventure. The biggest lesson I’ve learnt is that there’s always a plan B, such as taking a different route when you miss your plane. I’ve also discovered how resourceful I am and that I can create a life on my terms.
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Life really can start in midlife.
Siobhan was a BBC journalist but decided to travel after her daughter left for universitySiobhan Daniels, 63, went backpacking after her daughter Samantha left for university and is now enjoying her retirement living in a camper van.
It started off as a joke but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense.
“Perhaps I do deserve some proper me-time?” I pondered as my daughter’s first day at university approached.
I’d been a single mum since she was four and had a hectic job as a journalist for the BBC. I’d put my adventurous spirit on the back burner. But I was starting to re-evaluate my life thanks to impending empty nest syndrome.
To compound matters, my brother had died suddenly at 53 and I was experiencing a medical menopause after having a hysterectomy for health reasons. Ageism was rearing its ugly head at work, too. Instead of Samantha taking a gap year, maybe I should?
So at the age of 49, I sold the house, stashed my belongings with friends, bought my daughter a car and jetted off on a one-year, round-the-world adventure.
Braving the chilly weather in Scotland
Siobhan is now three-and-a-half years into her on-the-road retirementTaking a sabbatical from work meant that I had the security of a job to return to, but it was still scary.
I planned it all carefully, arranging with my bank to have a special account providing a daily allowance to prevent accidental overspending or theft. I aimed to cover 12 countries – Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Australia, New Zealand, Fiji, Canada, Brazil, Argentina, Bolivia and Peru.
Samantha was very proud of me, but she never let me live down the fact that I was late to meet her when she visited me in Australia. I’d been out on the razz the night before!
My gap year reignited my sense of adventure and helped me cope with the menopause, too. If I was struggling one day, I could simply pause and regroup. You can’t do that with a pressured job. It was such a liberating feeling. I felt totally ageless.
Crying in the office loos
I met people of all generations and regularly hung out with a group of youngsters taking the same route. They didn’t make me feel young. They simply made me proud to be the age I was and to have lived the life I’d had.
When I returned to my job after my 12 months, I initially felt more in control and had a stronger voice. But over time I felt pressured to conform and I couldn’t wait for another adventure as mistress of my own destiny.
Crying in the office loos one day, I felt like a broken woman. Then it came into my head: get rid of your stuff, the things you’re working to pay for, and hit the road. At 60, I retired from my job, sold my house in Tunbridge Wells, bought a camper van nicknamed Dora the Explorer and began the life of a nomad.
Siobhan even went skydiving in New ZealandI couldn’t have done that without my gap year a decade earlier. It made me realise that I needed adventure in my later life and gave me the confidence to do it. Now I’m three-and-a-half years into my on-the-road retirement, albeit with nine months parked up in fields during lockdown.
My daughter is 34 and has a sensible job in advertising. She couldn’t be happier for me.
Scaling down has allowed me real freedom. I’ve even written a book and become a champion for positive ageing and intergenerational connection. This year I plan to set up cross-generational dinner parties and mentoring for women. I’m also on a government advisory panel on ageing and ageism, and I spoke at a festival.
I want to be an inspiration for younger women not to fear getting older. Who cares about wrinkles? I’ve loved, laughed and earned mine. This stage of life can be freeing and fun. My gap year was the start of that journey.
Retirement Rebel by Siobhan Daniels is out now. Follow her adventures at shuvonshuvoff.co.uk
Izzy and Phil on the trek of a lifetimeIzzy Kelly, 54, and her husband Phil, 52, sold up in 2018 to take a road trip adventure – and are still travelling.
For years, I’d worked hard to build a good life and have a comfortable retirement. But suddenly it dawned on me – what if that day didn’t come.
Running a stressful business setting up care homes, I met people of a similar age to me who were suffering with dementia. It was incredibly cruel.
Alongside our busy work lives, Phil and I had also renovated a number of houses. It was time-consuming and left little time for us to enjoy the fruits of our labour. Phil had lost his mum when she was 56 so time began to feel limited for both of us. One night I said, half-jokingly, ‘Why don’t we just sell everything and travel around Europe in a motorhome?’ He surprised me and said, ‘Let’s think about it…’ The more we talked, the more sane it sounded. Four months later, we were on the road in our new motorhome.
We only intended to travel for two years, but it soon dawned on us that we wanted to travel for longer. However, living off Phil’s military pension would only take us so far. So we set up our blog The Gap Decaders , to share our tips for people wanting a similar adventure.
Phil and I have been together for 20 years, after meeting when I was based in the Falkland Islands as a contractor and he was in the military. We have a strong relationship but living in a metal box together 24/7 has been a challenge, especially in the wet, cold days of winter. In the past, we’d have breaks from each other at work or socialising with friends and could leave the house after a row to cool down. We’ve had some humdinger arguments but the situation has forced us to confront and overcome any disagreements.
We’re much stronger for it. My gap year has made me less judgemental and more welcoming. I’ve met people I might have avoided in the past. Everyone has a story to tell.
A different way of life
My life had been spent climbing the career ladder and I suspect I came across as cold. I’m a different person now. Since setting off four-and-a-half years ago, we’ve visited over 40 countries.
During the pandemic, we got stranded in Spain for seven months. Now things are closer to normal, we aim to get back to Britain at least once a year to see our loved ones.
The best advice I can give anyone thinking of a golden gap year is to be realistic. It’s not romantic, you don’t become a better person or find happiness overnight. But it can show you there are different ways to live.
Yes, we had the big fancy house, nice cars and jobs – but now we have less we’re enjoying life more. One day we might stay put for a while, but it won’t be this year. We’re off to Morocco, Spain, Italy, Croatia and the Balkans.
Check out thegapdecaders.com and the Kellys on social media
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