George Michael's sad confession years after being forced to come out as gay
It's been seven years since George Michael's tragic death, aged just 53, but his legacy lives on through his work and extraordinary secret acts of kindness.
But the world wasn't as kind to George as he was to everyone else at the height of his fame and success.
In 1998, two decades after forming Wham! with Andrew Ridgeley and carving out a successful solo career, a potentially career-ending moment threatened to ruin everything.
George was forced out of the closet after he was arrested for performing a lewd act on an undercover police officer in a public toilet.
Ahead of a new Channel 4 documentary, George Michael: Outed, the music icon's ex Kenny Goss reflected on the arrest as he dubbed him a "tortured soul" in his later years.
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Speaking to the Radio Times, he said: "From the moment he was arrested, when he wasn't with me, there was always a little bit of me, thinking, is he going to be OK?
George Michael pictured in 1989 (Michael Ochs Archives)"I was always worried about what might happen, that he might get into trouble again."
As the fall-out from his actions made front pages on both sides of the Atlantic, the singer seemed to hint it had all been so he could let the world know he was gay without having to publicly "come out".
George had been under pressure for years as rumours about his sexuality refused to go away.
He had been dealt two utterly devastating blows in the lead-up to his arrest - the death of his first love Anselmo Feleppa from AIDS in 1993 and the death of his mother Lesley just four years later from cancer.
Opening up to GQ magazine in 2004, he claimed that the arrest was "a desperate attempt to make the trauma in my life about me," so he could "control the outcome".
George formed Wham! with Andrew Ridgeley (Getty Images)"Up to then, the traumas had been out of my control and the outcome always bad," he said.
"From the point when Anselmo got sick, I felt out of control. There were also family problems too hurtful to talk about, but I was snowed under with things I couldn't do anything about.
"So I gave myself this six-month distraction from every day being about missing my mother.
"For six months, I had to work hard to fight for my career, but once that was done there was nothing to stop what came after it, which was just total depression. But as subconscious plans go, it was pretty successful."
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He also opened up about not being able to be completely honest with people, which he found really difficult.
"I used to sleep with women quite a lot in the Wham! days but never felt it could develop into a relationship because I knew that, emotionally, I was a gay man," he said. "I didn't want to commit to them but I was attracted to them. Then I became ashamed that I might be using them. I decided I had to stop, which I did when I began to worry about AIDS, which was becoming prevalent in Britain.
George was dating Kenny Goss at the time he was outed (Getty Images)"Although I had always had safe sex, I didn't want to sleep with a woman without telling her I was bisexual. I felt that would be irresponsible. Basically, I didn't want to have that uncomfortable conversation that might ruin the moment, so I stopped sleeping with them."
George said in a later interview about the incident that he had been followed into the toilet block by another man.
He later told MTV he was followed into the toilet block by a man who, "started playing this game, which I think is called, 'I'll show you mine, you show me yours, and then when you show me yours, I'm going to nick you."
He joked: "If someone's waving their genitalia at you, you don't automatically assume that they're an officer of the law... I've never been able to turn down a free meal."
However, as soon as the singer exposed himself, he says the man walked straight out of the toilet block, which he remembered as "odd" at the time.
George poses in a hotel room in Sydney, Australia during the pop duo's 1985 world tour (Getty Images)
George with Kenny in 2009 (Getty Images)It was only when George got back to his car that he was arrested - and officers didn't know they were dealing with an A-list celebrity when he was being questionned at the station.
He pleaded "no contest" and was fined $810 and sentenced to 80 hours of community service.
Yet, George's arrest appeared to be a turning point for him as he later opened up about his sexuality in an interview with CNN in which he stressed he was "not ashamed" to be gay. He also revealed that he was in a relationship with Kenny Goss.
"I want to say that I have no problem with people knowing that I’m in a relationship with a man right now," he said.
"I’m a very proud man. I want people to know that I have not been exposed as a gay man in any way that I feel.
"I don’t feel any shame for... I feel stupid and I feel reckless and weak for having allowed my sexuality to be exposed this way, but I don’t feel any shame whatsoever. And neither do I think I should.
"Ultimately at the end of the day I’m not ashamed, I’m just p***ed with myself for having been so stupid."
In the years following his arrest until his tragic death on Christmas Day in 2016, George was a passionate gay rights campaigner and raised huge amounts of money for HIV and AIDS charities.
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