'The Happy Valley family WhatsApp chat they're not having'

30 January 2023 , 13:10

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'If this carries on I shall mute the lot of yer' (Image: PA/BBC)

SARGE: I'm Catherine, I'm 47, I'm divorced, I live with my sister - who's a recovering heroin addict - I have two grown-up children, one dead and one who doesn't speak to me, a grandson, and umpteen BAFTAs I've had to hide in the spare room. So. It's complicated. Let's talk about you.

CLUR: You said you wouldn't keep mentioning it. I'm clean. And I have met a Nisa bloke.

SARGE: I told you so. He might be nice, but he's hell of a wheezy. He gets out of puff just ringing up me pads.

WHYAN: Does anyone know anything about me dad?

"Shuddup Ryan, and eat yer tea" (BBC/Lookout Point/Matt Squire)

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