'I was abused by dad from age 6-I believed him when he said it wasn't his fault'

12 March 2024 , 13:40

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As a little girl, Trish Hinde’s greatest challenge was to somehow creep past her father’s bedroom door each morning, on her way downstairs. For if he heard her footsteps, she would be ordered into his room for an almost daily ritual of sickening sexual abuse.

Gerard King was jailed two years ago for raping and sexually abusing Trish, now 37, throughout her childhood. And now the brave mum of four has written a book; ‘Not My Fault’ which tells the story of her journey through horrific trauma, to the happiness and stability she enjoys today.

Trish, from Manchester, says: “My father would always tell me the abuse wasn’t his fault, that he was simply made that way. So I thought it must be my fault, instead. I grew up believing that I was responsible. Now at last I understand none of this was my fault and the shame all belongs to him. I am so proud that I’ve broken the cycle, and my children will grow up in a safe and loving home.”

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Trish has written about her story in a new book (Mirror Books)

'I was abused by dad from age 6-I believed him when he said it wasn't his fault'

Trish as a child (Trish Hinde)

The abuse began when Trish was just six years old, with King calling her into his bedroom as she made her way downstairs. She says: “I had no idea what the abuse was, but I just knew I hated it. Afterwards, he would fall asleep with his arm clamped over me and I had to wriggle out, without waking him. Even to this day, I can’t bear to have an arm over me, even from my own husband. I feel trapped.”

When Trish was seven, her father kept her off school and raped her in the living room. She says: “I felt so afraid and confused. I lived in a noisy, busy house, I had five older siblings and we had lots of pets. But I was completely isolated. I had nowhere to turn.” Alone and scared, Trish internalised her trauma and later that year, she began suffering from violent seizures. Her father took responsibility for her epilepsy care, even abusing her on hospital visits. Medical records also suggest Trish’s father exaggerated her symptoms.

Trish says: “Dad made out I was ill, when much of the time I wasn’t. Perhaps he did it for financial gain, for benefits. Or maybe he did it to discredit me, so if I spoke out about the abuse, he could say I was unwell or unreliable. I certainly had seizures but I now feel they were probably stress-related, and caused by the abuse. I was stuck in the situation where the person responsible for my seizures was the one in charge of my care. On the way home from an appointment, he stopped the car and abused me in public. I was powerless to even speak out against him. Each time he’d remind me it wasn’t his fault, and he’d tell me he was scared of going to prison, which made me worry for him.”

Baby boy has spent his life in hospital as doctors are 'scared' to discharge him

Trish and husband Craig (Trish Hinde)

Trish is a proud mother of four (Trish Hinde)

When Trish was nine, her father was jailed for the sexual abuse of another child. She says: “By now, I was starting to work out that it had happened to me too. I wanted to shout it at the top of my voice, but I was too afraid, and despite myself, I felt sorry for him. He was still my father.”

With her father in prison, and her mother working long hours, Trish was neglected, often relying on neighbours for food and watching helplessly as bailiffs carried away family possessions. Trish says: “I got used to hiding under the table with my dog, Tyson, when the bailiffs came. They took away the microwave and the telly, we had so little left. I didn’t have clean clothes or hot meals and yet somehow I just slipped through the system.”

With her father gone, the sexual abuse stopped, and Trish’s seizures also miraculously vanished. In her early teens, she began skipping school and became recklessly promiscuous, often finding herself in danger. Without realising, she became a victim of Child Sexual Exploitation.

She says: “I’d skip school and meet men, often much older than I was, and go back to their houses to drink vodka and hang out. I went out clubbing in my early teens. I suppose I was looking for affection and attention, and that was the only way I knew. I had no idea I was being groomed or exploited. Aged 14, I had a boyfriend in his mid 30’s. I was really out of my depth.”

She reported her childhood abuse many times, in a letter to social workers, in an essay she wrote at school, to a therapist and to NSPCC. But, despite her father being jailed for abusing another child, her complaint never went any further. Trish says: “I first tried to report the abuse to a social worker, I wrote it all out in a letter. Then, I wrote about it in an essay and handed it to a teacher at school. In my late teens, I saw a therapist who made a report on my behalf, and I also reported it direct to the NSPCC. Each time, nothing was done, and I began to suspect it was my fault, after all. I lost faith in the system.”

Trish became suicidal and despairing. Her relationships seemed doomed because she had damaging flashbacks and her seizures returned whenever she became intimate. The memory of her father’s arm, pinning her to the bed, was so powerful that it triggered her epilepsy.

But in 2014, she met her husband, Craig Hinde, who works in banking. They now have four children, Jacob, now six, Oscar, five, Jessica, three, and three-month-old Ohana, and Trish credits her husband and children for turning her life around. Trish was at first overly protective of her children and did not like her husband looking after their daughter.

She says: “Craig is a wonderful father, I knew the problem was with me, not him. But I could not trust anyone with my daughter. I saw all men as a threat.” Realising her past history was damaging her marriage, she decided to go to the police. This time, at last, on her fifth attempt, someone listened.

In April 2022, Gerard King, 59, was convicted of rape, indecent assault and indecency with a child at Chester Crown Court. Trish maintains the court case and conviction were not important to her. She says: “What mattered was that someone listened to me. Someone believed me, after 25 years. That means everything.” Trish has written a book about her experiences, called: ‘Not My Fault’ which will be released on March 14 by Mirrorbooks.

She says: “I never want to see my father ever again. The one man who should have loved and protected me, instead tried to destroy me. I no longer feel guilty that he is in jail because I’ve finally realised it is precisely where he belongs. And if being in prison scares him, he has only himself to blame. I have learned, after 30 years of holding myself responsible, that none of this is my fault.”