'I'm having an affair with a colleague but he's threatening to tell my partner'

03 March 2024 , 13:33

1128     0

She doesn't know whether to tell her boyfriend before her lover does (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images)

Cheating is never good - but it's even worse when your lover is threating to blow the lid.

A woman has found herself in a predicament after having an affair with a colleague, and while she's tried to put an end to the steamy entanglement - her lover has threatened to tell her boyfriend if she stops it.

She admitted the affair was wrong, and stated how "ashamed" of herself she is, she revealed how she was "flattered" by the attention from someone senior at work after things had been "tough" at home.

Now her secret lover has threatened to tell her "lovely" partner if she won't confess. The wife feels stuck in a dilemma, worried about splitting up with family - as she also has a five-year-old daughter.

"After having my little girl five years ago I’d not had a job for ages and was loving the in­dependence of going into the workplace. I have a lovely partner — he is 38 and I'm 37. But things have been tough lately. My partner works long hours and I had been feeling pretty bored at home. We were not giving one another much attention," she shared in an anonymous letter to Dear Deidre.

Richard 'shuts up' GMB guest who says Hancock 'deserved' being called 'd***head'

The job, as a fashion buyer was going well as her trainer made her feel "at ease" and she claimed he made it clear he "fancied her". While she initially ignored his "flirty remarks" she said it persisted and she started to feel "flattered" as her partner was starting to take less notice of her.

However things transpired as one evening she texted him as she admitted she "felt lonely" and as one thing led to another, they started to meet up and have sex - which would sometimes be in his car or sometimes at his flat and she stated how it made her life "feel exciting again" and he was all she could ask for in a lover.

"Then one evening, my boyfriend made a real effort to get home early. He put our daughter to bed and was so lovely with her, that it felt like something slapped me around the face, I realised I had too much to lose. I've told the trainer guy that I can't see him any more, his answer: 'That’s a shame. We wouldn't want your boyfriend to find out would we?"

She wondered if her lover was trying to blackmail her, and the advice from Deidre was that he was trying to blackmail her, but she pointed out that the lover had a lot at stake if he came clean about their affair as he is in a senior position and as he's older than her - can be classed as sexual harassment.

She further gave the option to come clean - as it would be best her boyfriend heard it from her rather than someone else - or that she keep it to herself and keep quiet.

Niamh Kirk