Therapist lists 10 absolute worst things parents do that cause trauma in kids
Every parent wants to get it right when raising their child but you may not realise that what you are doing to damage your child in the moment. Whether you struggle with your own emotions or don't understand how to express them around your child, this therapist is using social media to help parents raise their children with more emotional maturity.
Canadian psychotherapist Morgan Pommells shared a post on Instagram highlighting behaviours parents should be aware of with the following caption.
"If you recognize your parents’ behaviours in these lists, your pain, anger, anxiety, and resentment are real and valid. These are traits of Emotionally Immature Parents who, burdened by their own trauma, demonstrate emotional volatility, lack empathy, and put their needs first."
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From raised voices to wake up calls, you could be seriously damaging your child (Getty Images/Tetra images RF)What behaviours should parents be aware of according to this therapist?
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1. Yelling at your children as soon as you come home from work
2. Giving the silent treatment to the entire room
3. Waking your children up with aggression or loud noises
4. Treating siblings differently, especially sons
5. Saying "I guess I am just the worst mom then" when their child is hurt
6. Refusing to apologise because "you're the parent"
"Many adult children of these parents doubt their experiences due to the less obvious nature of the abuse or trauma," Pommells explains in her caption.
"But you’re not imagining it. And invalidating your own feelings only adds to the wounds you carry. Instead, healing from this wound involves learning to trust your own reality, shielding yourself from your parents’ criticism, sidestepping their attempts to project onto you, and setting swift and effective boundaries.
"Healing means learning to Protect Your Peace and develop unshakeable self worth and self-love *based on your own terms.*," she explains.
Parents of all ages may recognize these behaviours in themselves, and think they are totally normal. But, Pommells warns parents of many more behaviours that could be seriously damaging.
Traumatized parents may traumatize kids (Getty Images)7. Expecting the whole household to walk on eggshells when you are in a bad mood
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8. Not protecting children from the other parent when they are doing something harmful
9. Depending on them for emotional support like you would a partner
10. Believing they should be grateful that you feed and house them. This is your job.
Social media users have been quick to lament the damage done to them by parents displaying these common behaviours, and the devastating consequences they have had.
"The way I found myself slowly stopping breathing/holding my breath as I went thru these slides... the body doesn't forget," one commenter shared.
Another simply posted "The generational trauma ends with me."
Some parents even commented about how they recognize these behaviours in themselves.
"Single dad here and I seem to be doing every single of them.... What are the correct responses?" one shared.
In response another commenter on the social media platform said "therapy. Immediately."
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